Tag Archive: Parkinson’s


Battered Pawns and Bad Ankles: Notes from the Battlefield

Filed under: Faith & Doubt, Life Lessons — Leave a comment
April 23, 2026

I woke up this morning to find that both of my ankles had apparently convened an overnight meeting — without me — and decided to stage a slow-motion protest. Not painful, exactly. Just wrong. Not right, in that maddening way where you cannot even properly complain about it because there is no word for the sensation of joints that feel like they have been partially replaced with wet sand.

The knees held their own grievance session last night, especially on the stairs. And so here I am, making my best impression of a fully functional human being, having negotiated with my own body just to get to the coffee maker.

If you have ever thought to yourself, I did not sign up for this shit. Well, welcome. Pull up a chair. Mine is the one with the good armrests for getting up from.

Continue reading →

Tags: , , , ,
Read More & Comment

A Practical Guide to Living with Disease: An Autumn Dispatch from the Body

Filed under: Cancer, Faith & Doubt, Life Lessons — 1 Comment
April 13, 2026

The first time I went public with Parkinson’s, my bladder made the announcement. I have not talked about Kappa Light Chain Deposition Disease. It’s the enemy within. It’s the cancer that will likely kill me.

Consider this the follow-up nobody asked for. You’re welcome.

Continue reading →

Tags: , , ,
Read More & Comment

A Practical Guide to Parkinson’s: Things Nobody Told Me (But Should Have)

Filed under: About Love, Faith & Doubt, Life Lessons, Parkinson's
March 27, 2026

I had planned to tell people on my own terms. I had a whole timeline. There would be a right moment, a considered conversation, perhaps a tasteful announcement. I would control the narrative.

Instead, my bladder did it for me.

Continue reading →

Tags: , , ,
Read More & Comment

A New Normal

Filed under: Parkinson's — 1 Comment
May 27, 2022

“Eventually, everything in the body becomes unreliable,” my neuro stated. It’s a hidden truth of nature. In our teen’s we laugh at it. In our twenties, any notion of time is philosophized over during bartender’s last call. In our thirties, the term slowing down was bantered watching old geezers struggle playing softball at company games. In our forties, we begin to struggle when a few kick the bucket, usually due to cancer or maybe a car wreck. It hits home in our sixties when were told we’re the one dying.

“Your body is becoming unreliable,” I repeated walking to my car. “I cannot change that,”  I repeated to myself. Only then do you see the elders of yesteryear stare you in the face and hear the laughter. I swear I heard them. I swear I did. “Sucks to be you,” they snerted (a word my ex invented) at me as I drove drove home. Pulling into my underground parking space, I turn the car off. Pausing for a moment as my hands rested on the steering wheel, I reflected. I have no problem distinguishing the past from the present as Rod Serling narrates, ‘There’s signpost up ahead. Your next stop, the Twilight Zone!’ in my mind.

Continue reading →

Tags: , ,
Read More & Comment

Long Life and Quick Death are not Synonymous

Filed under: Life Lessons, Parkinson's
April 10, 2022

As new Parkinson’s symptoms peel back any notion that my body can live in some delicate truce, I continue to reassess what I can and cannot do. For example, an Arizona State University study of Muhammad Ali’s public speaking revealed Ali exhibited symptoms of slowed and slurred speech several years before diagnosis. Researchers determined that Ali’s syllables per second slowed by 26 percent over thirteen years. But slurred speech was never my symptom, at least at this moment.

This week, left-hand tremor has become more prominent with the hands at the sides. A ‘Keyesence Detection’ test revealed, “The person has characteristics in their typing similar to people with early to mild Parkinson’s Disease. Tremor and movement exceeded normal ranges. An asymmetrical tremor of 4-6 Hz suggests Parkinson’s Tremor.’ But I already knew this. A tremor while typing has been the bane of my existence for several years. Tremor with the hand at my side has not. That’s new. That means Parkinson’s has progressed, even if ever so slightly.

Continue reading →

Tags: , ,
Read More & Comment

Being Spent

Filed under: Faith & Doubt, Life Lessons, Parkinson's
March 31, 2022

So, you might ask, “What the hell happened to you?” It’s a fair question. Yes, I know. Disappearing for 28 days is not something friends do to friends. Not even a peep. Honestly, I could have said, “Damn those extra shifts at the office.” Or, “Hey, I tripped down a set of stairs and wrecked my knee while attempting to avoid the leopard sleeping on the first floor.” Great story. Not true. I could have stated that I volunteered in some exotic land, assisting clinicians battling COVID. Another great story. All fiction. Instead, my excuse comes down to something easily stated but damn hard to combat: Brain Fog.

Continue reading →

Tags: ,
Read More & Comment

On The Road To Kingdom Come: “If you don’t complete [Fill in the Blank], there will be changes.”

Filed under: About Love, Do No Harm, Faith & Doubt, Parkinson's
March 3, 2022

The first time ‘If you don’t complete this, there will be changes’ was spoken was last week. Then, seven days later, the exact phrase was uttered again. So, in essence, my new boss threatened me. And even though I excelled at every performance review since starting with the company, working onsite through COVID, through my father’s death, two days post-tumor surgery, through Parkinson’s, through significant arthritis pain, that God-forbid that this one project, should it not be performed to perfection could end it all. So I wouldn’t say I like theoretical, but that’s what I think about.

Continue reading →

Tags:
Read More & Comment

Chopsticks

Filed under: Life Lessons, Parkinson's
October 18, 2021

“Chopsticks,” I murmured to myself. Six months ago, I could use chopsticks so well no one would have known I had medical issues. However, last Friday, I could barely manage to hold and align chopsticks. Everyone looked at me out of the corner of their eye. Smiling embarrassing so, I shifted to laugh it off, “Chopsticks.” Chopsticks wasn’t the word I wanted to use: I wanted to cuss. I wanted to shout, “F**k it” or “God damn it.” However, in the civility of dinner, I muttered, “Chopsticks.”

Continue reading →

Tags: , ,
Read More & Comment

On The Road To Kingdom Come: Keeping Control

Filed under: Faith & Doubt, Life Lessons, Parkinson's
October 13, 2021

Parkinson’s scared me more than cancer. Those words bored through my thinking in late February 2020 and remain persistent now. Unfortunately, nearly every terminal patient who’s taken a stoic stance (remaining in control), there comes the point in time during the disease when you lose control. I remember watching Ted Koppel’s Nightline program when Morris Schwartz (Tuesdays with Morrie) talked to Nightline host Ted Koppel. “Well, Ted, one day soon, someone’s gonna have to wipe my ass. It’s the ultimate sign of dependency. Someone wiping your bottom. But I’m working on it.”

Control. I thought of the word ‘control’ when my Neurologist informed me I moved from Parkinson’s Stage 1 to Parkinson’s Stage 2. In Stage 2, Symptoms start getting worse. Tremor, rigidity, and other movement symptoms affect both sides of the body. One can remain independent, but daily tasks become more difficult. And that’s where I’m at: Life is more difficult, more complicated, and more painful in the ass.

Continue reading →

Tags: , , ,
Read More & Comment

Trying CBD

Filed under: Life Lessons, Parkinson's — 2 Comments
August 14, 2021

I finally got weeded off a ton of medication. I dropped three-quarters of Gabapentin, halved the Zanaflex, Celebrex (to which I wonder if it works and that some guy stuck a placebo in the casing), and all of the Carbidopa-Levodopa. In theory, Carbidopa-Levodopa has withdrawal symptoms if one reduces too quickly but suffice only one night and one day; I experienced no significant issues. In truth, I experience fewer Parkinson’s problems without Carbidopa-Levodopa than I did with it. Now I am down to several 220mg of Aleve and 2ml of CBD Oil purchased from Medterra. (No, I do not receive any royalties.)

The CDB Oil was new for me. I’ve never been known to shove ‘alternative’ medications down my throat but became intrigued by CBD Oil after watching the Larry Smith (aka ‘Ride with Larry’) YouTube video. Mr. Smith was a former police captain who had Parkinson’s. In the 2012 video, Mr. Smith’s symptoms abated within a few minutes of inhaling some form of cannabis (maybe a vaping type instrument). Unfortunately, eight years later, Smith passed away, but I wonder if cannabis treatment assisted him or not. So, after about 80 hours of research, l ordered some CBD from Medterra. When asked if I could be monitored through my Neuro’s office staff and expertise, I was kindly instructed not to return – that I would be alone.

Continue reading →

Tags: ,
Read More & Comment