March 4, 2020

Suddenly, I found myself standing near the beach I’ve seen so many times, a beach I expected to stay for eons. The water was calm, sand was peaceful.

“Why are you here?” she whispered.

Overlooking my right shoulder, I recognized Ms. K. through the mist. Smiling gently. “For some reason, I tried to find you and couldn’t. I felt lost. So, I returned here. I did not know where else to go.”

I told you that ‘You are welcome in my home.’ If you can’t find me, I will come and get you.

Reaching out with her hand.

Come with me.


February 8, 2020

Watching a television show Caribbean Life. I wonder if Ms. K. ever thought I was ‘worth’ enough?

“She knows your worth is dependent upon earthly riches,” God gently responded. “For she knows you are worthy. Likewise, all of heaven knows I claimed you worthy. Therefore, you are.”


February 7, 2020

Saying aloud to Ms. K., “There are times I thought of becoming a priest. Some days I wonder if life would have been better?”

“Then you would not have met me. I would not have met you. And not meeting would have been tragic.”


February 6, 2020

Praying while my surgery was performed and wishing I was not alone.

“You are not alone,” Ms. K.,” whispered.

She was there all along.


January 28, 2020

Like David in Psalm 71:9, I utter unto God, “Do not cast me off in the time of old age; do not forsake me when my strength fails.”

“I assure you. You shall not.”


January 19, 2020

Reflecting on news that there’s another tumor. Commenting to God that it appears I might be nearing the end of life.

“No. Only the end of this life.”


January 14, 2020

Lord, in all the world’s fighting and anger, how do You remain ‘true’ to us?

“Through the perseverance of my love.”

And in my daily struggles and my own battles, how can I keep going?

“Through the perseverance of my love.”


January 12, 2020

While visiting a church. I feel so little from the church.

“For most, I am not there.”

But how can I feel you? I am outcast from communion?

“Do I not meet you in meditation and prayer? Then how can you feel alone?”


January 1, 2020

After receiving less than great news from the doctor the day before. Thinking to myself . . . My father said people do not die alone. I wonder if that’s true?

“Yes,” He interrupted.

Smiling. Pondering. Maybe Ms. K. will really be there?

“Yes.”

Remaining in my self-absorption . . .

“So will I.”


December 31, 2019

“Breathe ‘in’ me and search my soul for all you need.”

Lord, what do I need?

“Everything.”


December 30, 2019

How do I not see my own sins and hide in shame?

“Don’t see sins from natural weakness. The real sin is indifference.”


December 30, 2019

How does one die right?

“When your last thought is love.”


December 30, 2019

Lord, I sit in these meetings and wonder why I’m here.

“I sit in the same meeting and wonder why too.“