Archive for March, 2018


To L&H: Be “Special”

Dear L&H:

Thank you for your wonderful follow-up letter.

During a recent dinner party this past Sunday several guests turned the discussion to personality testing, specifically Enneagrams.  I’m not a psychological expert, but my understanding is that the Enneagram can be seen as a set distinct personality types, with each number of the Enneagram denoting a personality type. As with most, it is common to find a little of yourself in all nine of the types, although one specific type stands out as being closest to you. One Enneagram level is expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, and temperamental. Supposedly, if one is of this level, that person believes they are special.

My ears perked up when one of the guests readily admitted she was “special.” Thinking about my past, the term “special,” has not been uncommon word in my life, for I’ve encountered many who’ve claimed they were truly special. And truthfully, they always thought they either were or are better than either someone else or everyone else. To highlight, I once heard a successful Aquinas Associate, book author and speaker say:

“I am the most interesting person I ever met.”

In April 2015, I penned “You Are Your Greatest Weakness.” Part of that blog is as follows:

“We all think we’re super important.  Children are told how great they are. They aren’t. We aren’t. But what I’ve learned is that the road to character is built by confronting your own weakness. It is he who conquers his own soul that becomes greater than one who takes a city. The road to success means understanding personal weakness.

This key lesson begins with the process of opening one’s mind to the possibility that one does not know what one thought they knew – that one may not really understand what one thought they really understood.”

Nearly three years later, I perceive myself as remarkably average, that there are a lot more interesting people than myself – far too many to name. As such, when someone asks “How do I create an interesting worthwhile and special life” I find no better prose than George Bernard Shaw:

“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”

L&H, the key caveat of Shaw’s quote is “… being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one …” If you recognize you are being used for a mighty purpose, then you have reached the level of all great social movements wanted to achieve. It is the same level of inner acceptance Christ, Buddha, Martin Luther King, Ghandi, Nelson Mandela and so many others hoped all would achieve.

I believe the youth of this world will generate a great purpose. Each of you are special. However, ensure your purpose is a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. If achieved, then you will become the force to which mortal men only dream.

~Peace~

Upon hearing White Communications Director Hope Hicks resignation, I ignorantly muttered ‘good riddance,’ as I originally thought she was woefully under qualified for the role. Later I realized I lived neither in Christ nor Buddha.

Sometime in-between last night and morning, I had a change of heart. I can’t compare my situation to that of Hope Hicks. However, bear with me for a few moments from my previous day.

  • Arose to feeling slightly ill, almost exhausted. I sleep more these days and awake feeling ill. Yeah, I know. I know. My heart is telling me I live precariously between life and death. Ignoring the obvious, I down two 20mg tablets of blood pressure medicine with a strong cup of coffee (which my doctor hates). Maybe these will tame the savage beast for another day.
  • Off to my home office. Open email. A 75 year-old coworker employee is driving the client nuts. My company requests me to intervene and keep the project from going off the rails. Several hours of listening to people bitch, whine and moan – done.
  • Ex-wife calls. Depressed she has no friends and no life other than work, she searches for meaning in a hostile world (her term). I listen. And listen. And listen. Two hours of bitch, whine and moan done.
  • Parents call the pseudo Information Technology Help Desk. (That would be me.) Their Apple MacBook Air does not work after upgrading to the latest iOS Operating system. What a surprise. This has happened before, will happen again. Several hours of helping them through a ‘restore’ process, I find they’ve somehow corrupted their system. I will have to send them a replacement. Couple of hours of bitch, whine and moan done.
  • Mom calls several hours later. Dad, whose experiencing early dementia, was checking to see if the patio door was locked, when upon finding he could not open the door, promptly found a hammer, and in the words of my mother, beat the sh** out of the handle. The patio door remains locked, but now the handle has to be replaced. A half-hour of bitching, whining and moaning – done.
  • Ex-wife callers again. Still suffering trauma from not only today, yesterday and the day before, but now suffering trauma in that she was not treated well by her parents during childhood. Now have to listen to all her trials and tribulations. Another hour of bitching, whining and moaning – done.

So how does this all relate to Hope Hicks.  In an October 2014 blog post I wrote titled Good Tired.

There’s two kinds of tired. There’s good tired and there’s bad tired.

Ironically enough, bad tired can be a day that you won. But you won other people’s battles, you lived other people’s days, other people’s agendas, other people’s dreams. And when it’s all over, there was very little you in there. And when you hit the hay at night, somehow you toss and turn; you don’t settle easy.

Good tired, ironically enough, can be a day that you lost, but you don’t even have to tell yourself because you knew you fought your battles, you chased your dreams, you lived your days and when you hit the hay at night, you settle easy, you sleep the sleep of the just and you say ‘take me away.

It’s not often I find myself sympathizing with a Trump Administration teammate. However, after yesterday, I realize Hope Hicks was bad tired. I envision Ms. Hicks saying, “Enough! I am tired of dealing with this adult daycare center and this sh**. I am tired of being tired. I am tired of ‘Bad Tired.’ I need to chase my own dreams.”

In this day, I know all of us have commitments. However, don’t forget to chase a few of your dreams and get Good Tired.

Help Me Believe

Strengthen the believer. Answer the critic.

%d bloggers like this: