Archive for April, 2018


I looked at the yin-yang symbol for nearly a decade and always thought I understood the hidden dynamic. Rooted in Chinese philosophy, are often thought to be opposing forces versus complimentary forces.

Others propose a more defined view, that everything has both yin, the darker, more passive force, and yang, a more active positive force. The message insinuates that yin cannot exist without yang. Vice versus, yang cannot exist without yin. Lastly, some taught that neither yin nor yang could exist without the other.

I refined my personal perspective after watching the film Rogue One: A Star Wars Story and Star Wars: The Last Jedi. In Rogue One, we learn that the same material used by the Death Star to destroy planets also powered the Jedi’s light saber. In The Last Jedi, Rey learned the Jedi hold no exclusivity rights to the Force, for the Force is in everything and everyone has equal access. Thus, as Christ would say, each one of us has the ability to accomplish what Christ did and more.

Moving forward, I ask the following question: “What if there is neither a yin nor yang?” What if the world’s yin and yang happen to be derived from the same one life force? What if our own personal yin and yang are derived from the very same force? If true, what becomes of yin and yang?

I propose both yin and yang are breathed to life via personal choice. All of us, will at times, choose yin. Likewise, all of us, at times choose yang. Christ talked of such a view in Matthew 15:19,”For out of the heart come evil thoughts – murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.” The challenge lay in choice.

In Rogue One, the blind spiritual master Chirrut Imwe, was in constant dialogue with “the force” as he chanted “I am one with the force, the force is with me.” We must be in constant dialogue with the Father if we want to know what he wants us to do and where to go.

I conclude from the story of a Cherokee grandfather teaching his grandson about life.

A fight is going on inside me,” the elder said. ”It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil–he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you–and inside every other person, too.

The grandson thought about it for a minute and asked his grandfather: “Which wolf will win?

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one I feed.

So, which will you feed? The yin? Or the Yang?

A little over a week ago, I stumbled upon the movie A Monster Calls.  As noted in my last entry, A Monster Calls is the story of a 12-year-old boy coming to terms with the fact that his mother is dying. Its extraordinary power lies in the interweaving of the fantastical and the everyday. As a result, a tree monster comes to tell three stories, each of which provides a significant lesson for any person could learn.

The second story is a call to faith.

The Story

A conservative pastor follows old Biblical traditions and beliefs is pestered by an older medicine man to cut down an older magical tree for use to make medicine. The parson considers the old medicine repugnant and proclaims as much from the pulpit. In time, even those who been healed by the medicine man turn against the healer. Thus, in time, the healer is nearly destroyed by destitution.

A plague sweeps the land and many die. In time, the parson’s daughters become ill. When all medical resources are exhausted, the parson goes before the medicine man and begs for his daughter’s healing. When the parson promises to renounce his belief should his daughter become healed, the medicine man says he cannot help the parson. Thus, the parson’s daughters die. The magical tree awakens and destroys the medicine man’s home and livelihood. As a result, both men are destroyed.

Key Takeaway

The moral of the story is that the parson was a man of faith, but only when that faith suited him. The parson had no faith of his own and changed beliefs as it suited him. In order for the medicine to have worked, one had to have had faith in the medicine. Without faith, there is no life.

As quoted by the monster, “Belief is half of all healing. Belief in the cure, belief in the future that awaits.”

Two events of my life provide stark reminders of the second tale.

Spiritual Lesson 1

Two events in my life stark reminders of the Monster’s second tale.

First a woman has had two-year long battle of an undefined illness. When traditional medicine provided little relief, she happened upon a cloister of Dominican Nuns. Saddened by the woman’s sorrow, the nuns prayed for her healing.  Several days later, the woman felt the nuns healing had a positive effect, that she was healing. However, the very next day, the woman’s condition slightly changed and she lost hope and of the faith of the nuns.

Spiritual Lesson 2 – My Lesson

There once lived a Buddhist who once was touched by the hand of God. Through meditation, he found he could change and heal the wounds of others. Angered by the lack of faith found in others, he hid himself from the very force that could heal. In time, the power and joy of healing wandered away.  I am reminded to tap into the ‘unbounded spirituality‘ available to all. The personal lesson learnt forty years ago, when I first met God was simple. I thought I was ‘chosen.’ Only now do I realize I was not chosen. I simply had a beautiful gift, that when dipped in the paint of God’s faith, became extremely powerful. Unfortunately, I hid. And those in need suffered from my selfishness to remain anonymous.

If gifted, you must continually renew yourself. Renewal means you must step from life’s shadow, accept the bad, but be reminded to see the good – and the potential for greatness – in everyone.

God calls it faith.

In the midst of unrelenting rain and wind this weekend, I stumbled across the film A Monsters Call. The Guardian newspaper notes the actor Lewis MacDougall, is the film’s main asset. This is not just a film about grief; it’s a film that immerses you in both life and grief. It’s a part of everyone’s journey.

A Monster Calls is the story of a 12-year-old boy coming to terms with the fact that his mother is dying. Its extraordinary power lies in the interweaving of the fantastical and the everyday. As a result, a tree monster comes to tell three stories. I was captured by the first two stories and the lessons any Christian, Buddhist or any person could learn.

I offer my thoughts of the monster’s first story.

The Story

There was a wise king who had won peace for his people. But that very peace came with a heavy price, for he lost all three sons in battle. The Queen was unable to bear the loss and died. The King was left with his only surviving heir, an orphaned grandson. The King raised his grandson as a Prince who won the love of the Kingdom with his prowess and golden heart. His people loved the Prince.

The Prince was nearly a man when his grandfather took a wife. When the King became sick, rumor spread the Queen was an evil witch who wanted the throne and poisoned the King. A few weeks later the King died.

Meanwhile, the Prince fell in love with a local woman. She was beautiful and smart, and, while only the daughter of a farmer, the Kingdom was happy for the couple. The Queen, however, enjoyed being the Queen. And she thought, what better way to continue being the queen than by marrying the Prince?

The Prince, however, thought better of it and rode off with the farmer’s daughter into the night. The two stopped to rest under a tree. When the Prince awoke, he found someone killed his lover during the night. “The Queen“, he cried. “The Queen murdered my bride.” Full of anger and revenge, the villagers rebelled. And the Queen was never seen again.

Key Takeaway – The Unknown Known

For every story, a hidden truth remains unearthed. The Prince did not fall asleep that night. Rather, he waited for his love to asleep and knew her death would stir anger that the city would set to destroy the Queen. The monster never said the Queen killed the farmer’s daughter. We were only told the Prince said that. The Monster admitted saving the Queen and taking her far away where she began life anew. It’s such a waste knowing how people would willingly accept the unreality of that which surrounds us as real.

Spiritual Lesson 1

In life, many things appearing true aren’t. People (just as the Prince) may receive rewards they don’t deserve. Ordinary everyday people (like the farmer’s daughter) die without reason. Others (like the King) get old, sick and die. Sometimes, bad people (such as the Queen) deserves to be saved. Lastly, all of us will do bad things (like the Prince), but sometimes we become really good people (like the Prince) as a result.

Spiritual Lesson 2

There isn’t always one truly good person or villain. Most of us fall somewhere in-between. There is no absolute black or white. All of us will need to hear things or tell ourselves things that soothe our hearts. And while those words may not always be truthful, and we might even know they’re not, they help.  In other moments, only the truth will do, even if it hurts.

To really live life, personal bravery is required.

General Fearless:As, President Trump indicated, a combined operation with the armed forces of France and the United Kingdom launched precision strikes on targets associated with the chemical weapons capabilities of Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad.  We thank them both.

One year ago, Assad launched a savage chemical weapons attack against his own innocent people.  The United States responded with 58 missile strikes that destroyed 20 percent of the Syrian Air Force. Probably more like 50%. It was something like the world has never seen before. As Bernie Sanders would say, ‘It was yuge.’

Last Saturday, the Assad regime deployed chemical weapons to slaughter innocent civilians — this time, in the town of Douma, near the Syrian capital of Damascus.  This massacre was a significant escalation in a pattern of chemical weapons use by that very terrible regime. The evil and the despicable attack left mothers and fathers, infants and children, thrashing in pain and gasping for air.  These are not the actions of a man; they are crimes of a monster instead.

I can assure you we took every measure and precaution to strike only what we targeted and –– and we successfully hit every target and believe we have significantly cripple Assad’s capability to use chemical weapons in the future.

Now, I’ll take a few questions.”

Fake News Reporter:General, how did you assess success?

General Fearless:Let me show a graphic just received.

In these before and after photos, you can tell we struck an already previously destroyed target. If you look really close, through a microscope, you’ll see part of the roof in the ‘Before” photo may have been moved to the right in the ‘After’ photo.”

 Fake News Reporter:General, these pictures don’t show any differences?

General Fearless:Well, we struck at night to purposely limit damage against the enemy and reduce loss of life.

Fake News Reporter:Huh? I’m sorry General, that makes no sense.”

General Fearless:Look, someone was having a bad yesterday and throwing temper-tantrums. There wasn’t an 18-wheeler available to climb into and pretend to be a trucker. So, we let him play with over $100 million in missiles.”

Fake News Reporter:One last question General. Washington Post Reporter Jasmine El-Gamal recently wrote that Assad has been associated with words such as “monster,” “vicious” and “unacceptable” are being recycled in news statements and interviews. Given the unfathomable suffering that has beset the Syrian people at the hands of Assad, the unwillingness of the international community to threaten action unless the Islamic State (ISIS) or chemical weapons are involved, one element is noticeably and consistently absent: Syria’s civilians, who for the past several years have lived in a terrifying hell on Earth, often unable to leave their houses. Syrian Network for Human Rights estimated that the Assad regime had dropped nearly 70,000-barrel bombs since July 2012 — and sometimes forced people to watch as children slowly starved to death.

Am I correct in saying that the United States and their Allies are not ok with chemical weapons but ok with everything else?”

General Fearless:Yup, but we sent Assad a message.”

Care for the Goose

A gifted psychotherapist spent a decade working 65- to 70-hour work weeks, often working one full-time job and two part-time jobs, multiple back-to-back speaking engagements, and literary writing. Her friends warned to not burn herself out, that she was on an exhausting pace. Still, she tarried onward, for in her eyes, God said the need was great.

Reality has a way of sneaking in. On a crisp warm spring morning last year, she awoke with no voice. Multiple trips to multiple medical specialists returned a similar prognosis – her voice chords were nearly paralyzed. Fearing the worst, she turned to prayer, then to various concoctions of honey, seaweed and aloe shakes, over-the-counter allergy medicines and finally use of a voice microphone. However, she kept working.

A year of unanswered prayers whizzed past. She experienced little to no relief from shakes and over-the-counter medicines. Exhausted, she returned to medical professionals. The update? Her voice chords were completely paralyzed. Thus, all that raw talent, knowledge and ability to assist those in need are locked forever – a voice chord away.

Aesop’s fable of the goose that laid the golden eggs should echo for all of us. The fable details a struggling farmer who finds an egg made of gold. Thinking someone ‘punk’d’ him, the egg was appraised and found to be real. Using the gift wisely, the goose lays a golden egg every day and the farmer becomes rich.

Like many before, finding talent and using it wisely are often polar opposites. The farmer convinced himself there lay an infinite goldmine inside the goose. In a fit of greed, he killed the goose and finds nothing.

The Buddha told his followers a similar story. A man who died was reborn as a golden goose. He remembered his old family and felt a pang thinking of how, since his death, they were barely scraping by. So, he went to them and released one of his valuable feathers. “I’ll always provide for you,” the goose promised. Day after day, he gave the family another feather until they had enough gold to buy soft beds and rich foods.

But his former wife grew greedy and one day lured the goose close with sweet words. She grabbed him, pinned his beating wings and plucked all of his golden feathers. Since the goose couldn’t fly, his wife threw him into a barrel, fed him skinny scraps of food, and waited for his feathers to grow back. But when they did, she was disappointed: instead of the golden glint she was hoping for, the new feathers were as white as icy silence.

Essentially, all three stories teach the same lesson. However, the gifted psychotherapist is a friend and her’s story is tragically filled with real-life consequences. Prayers unanswered, she remains voiceless.

Stephen Covey used Aesop’s fable to illustrate that the more you produce, the more you do, the more effective you are is illusion. You can wear yourself out helping all sorts of causes, but a certain point, you face diminishing returns as your body fails from lack of care and sleep.

The lesson? You have to care for the goose.

On a cool Saturday morning, a couple drove several hours for a presentation on family living and love.  During the ride, the husband stated he heard from his retired parents in Arizona.

My parents admitted they were $18,000 dollars in debt,” he humbled mumbled.

$18,000?” She clarified.

Yes.

How,” she queried.

I guess it’s from medical expenses not paid by insurance from dad’s two brain surgeries.

Well,” she replied. “We’re not helping your parents in any way.

Writer Jeff Anderson noted that as elderly parents begin to rely on family for more support, the amount of conflict between adult children can increase. Dealing with a parent’s care can rekindle sibling rivalries that have lain dormant for years, and the discord can tear families apart. What Mr. Anderson did not know was that the husband in the story had quietly watched his parents fall frail to health concerns. His father had two major surgeries that netted him a long-term stay in ICU and then several months in rehabilitation.

The other side of the story was that he he quietly supported his wife by providing monthly financial support to his father-in-law and sister-in-law. But now, it’s as if she was said, “Not yours, only mine.” Her response comes from anger toward her own family life. It was a sense of helplessness.

Most often a sense of helplessness manifests into continuous critiquing, judging, anger, and sometimes even rage. When one person is completely unwilling to take full responsibility for their own life feelings, it is often because they are unwilling to experience life. That, as George Benard Shaw might say, is the difference betweenbeing used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”

The ‘shit’ response comes from people who tell everyone that we’re called by God and Buddha and not to allow ourselves to be consumed with anger. Yet, as a Buddhist, we must refuse to take behaviors personally. We need to be open to open another’s burden, to one another’s pain, irregardless of the pain which we endure. Yet, in many families, the relationship is one-sided and over time, one person boldly becomes the ‘asshole’ and often goes deep into personal resentment and anger. As a result, identities shift or are lost.

We must remember how we choose to act says nothing about those around us. Rather, how we choose says everything about us. Like a lot of relationships, we can blame everyone else for how we act, including parents, brother, sister, coworker, manager, etc. But ultimately, we all know that’s a bunch of bullshit. We must proactively remind ourselves that their behavior is theirs not ours, and it has nothing to do with us.

As for caring for aging parents, Brette Sember, author of “The Complete Legal Guide to Senior Care,” stated “shared responsibility” can mean different things to different families. She says the best way to avoid major family discord is to communicate; to meet and put all cards on the table.

Acknowledge that everyone has different abilities, resources, and availability,” she says. “Try to break things up into zones if possible — medical, bill paying, cleaning, food, transportation, legal, assisted living search, laundry. Give everyone some kind of responsibility, even if it means writing a check or calling mom once a day to be her sounding board.

Remember, little in life is actually about money. Money’s not everything. Each of you needs to look at what you have to offer.

MoneySeveral weeks ago, a friend took new position at a new company.  While the position offers a lot of work, it was the most income he ever made in his life. Upon working this morning and the first thing his wife asked was, “How much was your paycheck today?” No “Good morning, dear.” No “I love you.” No kiss.  Only money.

Yet this family is not unlike most. The weekly balancing of the family budget is filled with challenges and landmines, shreds and concerns (or accusations) of spending too much, too little, not saving enough or outright ignorance. unfortunately, anyone who needs to pay the rent or mortgage has to learn how to budget. Sadly, our financial battles can be historic.

In reality, money is unavoidable. Rather, it is people’s attitude that causes worry and stress. Much of our views are shaded by the status that money can offer, as if upon hitting that status, all the world will then become divine.

The way in which we use money isolates rather than unites. For a fact, I know the husband referenced in my opening took the new position, not because he felt challenged by the position or experience a deep sense of fulfilled for the work itself. Rather, he took the position because it offered him the illusion of an oasis – income. Should the income be high enough, significant enough, plentiful enough, would his wife finally shut the hell up.

In this revelation, almost everyone I’ve discussed financial planning has never looked at financial planning from a spiritual or divine process. Rarely, if ever, do we connect such planning to the values to which we’re living. So, rather than asking whether the axis of life at the center of your budget aligns to your value, do you breathe for another’s approval? Do you keep up with neighbor or reflect upon and adapt to a personal, albeit, spiritual purpose?

Buddhism teaches about cause and effect. For the couple above, one partner may achieve the dream of the other. But for that one partner, it was the other’s dream, lived only other’s day, and only the other’s agenda. And when sunset spans the horizon, neither brought value which solidified their love or fulfilled an unfed spiritual yearning.

So, the question I ask, whose spiritual purpose do you live? For what does your bell toll?

KingEddie Glaude Jr. made a stunningly insightful comment on MSNBC’s Morning Joe. James Baldwin wrote, “... we had to invent the word “nigger” to justify the crime.”

In other words, if we wish to conceal ignorance and the openness of our own prejudice, create a word to cover it. Need to conceal your racism of Hispanics, call them ‘rapists.’ Need to dodge your hate of Muslims, classify them as ‘terrorists.’ Dislike a reporter or news service, call them ‘liars,’ ‘dishonest‘ and ‘fake news.’ Blame a company (Amazon) for congressional leadership inability to lead (US Post Office). Need to demean your predecessor(s), call them ‘cheatin‘ [sic].

Factual support of any claim is secondary or tertiary. No need. Simply represent yourself as the ‘truth, the light, or the way’ just as a famous politician proposed in July 2016 when he asked Americans not to place their trust in God, but him. “I am your voice. I alone can fix this.” And like those on the Exodus, we crafted our golden calf, placed it unto our personal alter and believed that he … alone … could solve our problems.

Thich Nhat Hanh and Dr. Martin Luther King shared many ideologies. But they both probably share that our current desire for the golden calf is born from hatred not from wisdom. Hatred. Jealousy. Bitterness. A person who suffered much fear, anger and violence comes from such darkness.

As such, this level of darkness lives not in the possible, but from scarcity, “there’s only so much pie to go around, and if you get some there will be less for me“.  This mindset could be viewed as a “scarcity mentality” and is part of the Lose-Win paradigm.

Stephen R. Covey explained in his book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People“: The Scarcity Mentality is the zero-sum paradigm of life.

“People with a Scarcity Mentality have a very difficult time sharing recognition and credit, power or profit – even with those who help in the production.  They also have a very hard time being genuinely happy for the successes of other people – even, and sometimes especially, members of their own family or close friends and associates.  It’s almost as if something is being taken from them when someone else receives special recognition or windfall gain or has remarkable success or achievement.

Although they may verbally express happiness for others’ success, inwardly they are eating their hearts out.  Their sense of worth comes from being compared, and someone else’s success, to some degree, means their failure.  Only so many people can be “A” students; only one person can be “number one”.  To “win” simply means to “beat.”

It’s difficult for people with a scarcity mentality to be members of a complimentary team.  They look on differences as signs of insubordination and disloyalty.

Luke 6:38 states “Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full–pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”

I am sure the question Dr. Martin Luther King would ask you to ponder is, which gift will you choose – anger or love? Unfortunately, it appears that 50 years after Dr. King’s death, we’re still embracing the golden calf.

This past February, I turned 58 — seven years away from Medicare, eight years or so away from Social Security. So there it is: I’m one of the last of the baby boomer generation (1946 – 1964), a Buddhist, and just another individual soul face to face with his own aging. All of this was reinforced a week about when an ex looked at my medical bills, glared into my eyes and stated the obvious:

“You cost too much.

Yes … “I” … cost too much.

Sorry,” I explained. “I was supposed to have been dead already.”

If death had occurred, there’d be no underlying medical expenses. No costs. No loss of employment wages. No hassels. However, the past six months have been a de facto race to retain eyesight. There was no major accident. I did not poke out an eye. I did not succum to household chemicals or hit by a baseball. There was no car accident, no fistfight, not even a stumble. I simply awoke on the morning of January 26th and couldn’t see. While I survived five major eye surgeries between the last week in January and first week of February, I accumulated $9,000 in health care deductibles and another $4,000 in lost income.

All that was just eye surgery.

All told, I was lucky. I had health insurance, albeit COBRA from a previous employer. Fast forward to 2025, all of us will likely to encounter a shortage of primary care physicians, increased emphasis on disease prevention, growth in electronic medical record-keeping, and growing disparities in both access and quality of primary care. Simply put, if you’re rich, you’ll have healthcare. If you’re poor, you die.

The number of those aged 60 and over will increase to 1.2 billion in 2025 and subsequently to two billion in 2050. By 2050, twenty-two (22%) percent of the world’s population will be over age 60 and 75% of the elderly will be living in countries with overburdened health care delivery systems. People, like me, will experience higher prevalence of chronic diseases, physical disabilities, mental illnesses and other co-morbidities.

While health care for the elderly requires collaboration of health, social welfare, rural/urban development and legal sectors, legislators continue to push aside such thoughts and while dropping billions into other investments, such as military armament, wasted border walls and other pet projects.

In fact, legislators say I cost too much, as Paul Ryan noted in December 2017;

We’re going to have to get back next year at entitlement reform, which is how you tackle the debt and the deficit,” Ryan said during an appearance on Ross Kaminsky’s talk radio show“… Frankly, it’s the health care entitlements that are the big drivers of our debt, so we spend more time on the health care entitlements — because that’s really where the problem lies, fiscally speaking.

By 2050, 80% of all older people will live in low- and middle-income countries. As a generation of aging baby boomers, and a corresponding uptick in chronic illnesses, meets rising medical costs in a perfect storm, the medical and social services communities have to face a critical question: How can we best provide care for our nation’s low-income elderly population?

Financing alone will not be enough. I invite all those who are interested to reach out to your communities, get involved, and include yourself in the ongoing health care conversation. Only together can we create solutions for the expansion and improvement of community-based health care to better serve all our citizens. We have to do something now, now in 2025 or 2050. If we don’t, one day, you’ll be informed you cost too much.

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