As many writers and other literary giants have found, a good deal of life is spent on waiting to see what will happen. I see “waiting” everywhere.” The doctor who tells a family, “Well, we did everything possible. Now we have to wait and see.” The job interview went great, but we’ll have to wait and see. Couples wait to see if they can have a child. Someone depressed, waits to see if they can climb out of the hole just one more time, the lonely waiting for love, and parents waiting to see how the kids will turn out. Waiting in both my job and my life seems mandatory.
Yet, over the past two years, my daily communion and meditation indicates that great things come after a period of wait. I am waiting for the Spirit of life to define my life even more critically. I am waiting for what has been promised. For a Christian, they wait upon God’s promise, “I am sending upon you what my Father had promised; so stay here until you have been clothed.” Granted, I am not looking for that “Shazam!” effect. Rather I am waiting to reach deep into my life, re-cleanse it, and transform me. I am awaiting marching orders, the gift from being confused to becoming bold and visionary.
I have found some great truths; my aloneness has turned into a rich fellowship of prayer. My waiting has not been wasted. I am reminded of my mortal-ness (is that a word?), that I cannot change the world solely in and of my own effort: I need a Sangha as well. As I spiritually find nurturing while walking in the woods near the Canadian border, I realize that I cannot quench my own thirst, for it is the Buddha and God who chooses to commune with me. As I recognize my limitations, I begin to see more and more of my real self. This waiting is not meant to break me, but rather it is meant to reveal me. I am discovering what I am made of and remolding the frayed edges.
Truly, in spite of all my mistakes, I am blessed by what has been given me. And while I am not particularly fond of everything I have done, I show up each day at the well like the Samarian woman, asking for His promise of living water. I meditation and prayer, I retouch my soul and remake the soul anew. I need this water to reclaim my spiritual soul and thankfully, I am constantly given the opportunity to drink from love, simply because I am loved.
In truth, I am thankful for this walk, for the friendship and whatever prayers and love afforded. For without this walk, I would have never had an opportunity to see and live my own life and what the spirit of God has in store.
Until next time, “Peace and Blessings.”