Tag Archive: Holiday Love


When I started this project (opening all these unread letters from yesteryear), Letter 18 was held for last and remains the last handwritten letter written.

I never heard from her again.

After reading the message, the message remains true. Maybe, I should have posted it sooner. Thematically speaking, it’s a holiday message – God is love. That’s all my letters were about – Love.

Fast forwarding from eight years ago, I happened to catch to what I believe was a 1999 rerun of the cable TV show “Inside the Actor’s Studio.” If you’ve seen it, you know the basic idea: James Lipton invites celebrities to talk about their careers and how they do what they do. He always ended each episode with the same question:

If you believe that God exists, what do you think He will say to you when you finally see Him?

It can make for an interesting examination of conscience.

Lipton asked Spielberg, “What do you hope God will say to you when you finally see Him?

Thinking for a moment, Spielberg replied, “Thanks for listening.

Thanks for listening.

So much of the Christmas story is, truly, about two things: listening and loving. In essence, that’s what this blog is about – ‘listening’ to my thoughts and understanding the love I tried to instill.

If any one of the past eighteen letters help any of you, then my words were not for naught. I hope all these letters add some value to your holiday. Each reader, each follower, is important and I honor each one of you so very much.

So, I thank you for listening. And I thank you for all your love and inspiration.


My Dear Love:

When I was younger, I used to be enriched by the holiday spirit. Eyes sparkled with the excitement of the season and as Christmas carols played in the background. I had an overview of Baby Jesus, a lowly manger, and a couple of shepherds. Not sure if the real things were as glorious portrayed.

Let’s face it, I didn’t have great Biblical story role models. Ha. So, I settled upon a vision of God and Christmas Eve drawn from movies. My best all time movie? A classic. ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.’ There’re several lessons I learned many years ago. One. When we are in pain, we tend to feel we are suffering alone. But that’s rarely the case. When someone we love hurts – we hurt. Two. Character speaks louder than cash. Always. Third. There’s always a Mr. Potter. Don’t let the buggar win.

In truth, there’s always someone who’s going to be different. May even put up a sign, “Bah, humbug” or “Go Grinch.” I read of a little girl who climbed onto Santa’s lap. When Santa asked, “And what would you like for Christmas?” the girl looked up and replied, “What do you mean? Did you not get my email?”

I really did envision angels coming to help the average soul. In fact, Christmas Eve 1978, God gave me His greatest gift – himself. I saw his transcendent beauty of faith and love. His purity of light and grace remains amazing. There were, of course, doubters for my experience. However, over the years, I learned to never let another man create your world for he always creates it too small. And neither should we create God’s world, for we always tend to create God’s too narrow.

My vision of God’s world evolved significantly, yet remains absolute. Many years had passed before learning God does not appear in the grand hall of a royal palace, but in the poverty of a stable. Not in power – but simplicity. And maybe as I write this, I just learned that’s the angle portrayed in ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.’ Funny how God’s angle is never our angle, nor is God’s angel ever like our angel.

God does come on Christmas Eve. He’s in that recovering alcoholic who walks by a bar, hears the laughter, but keeps walking. He’s there in the silence, when the one who used to share your life and your home is no longer there, and you find your heart full of sorrow and longing and memory. He whispers “You are not alone. I am with you.”

This Christmas, I am so blessed for you, someone so beautiful, so capable of delivering love without condition. You seem to overcome any obstacles. I meditate and realize how lucky I am to share my life with the greatest woman ever met. You still fascinate and inspire me. You influence me for the better. When I am with you, I am home, full of humility and gratitude for having shared this life, my life, with you.

This Christmas, regardless what anyone else does, be true to what’s inside – the goodness, kindness, a loving nature and joy. Ultimately, God knows these qualities cement real change. Christmas exists to remind the world of His love. He gives us His love so we can be part of the solution.

You, my love, are my Wonderful Life.

With all my love … W

Sometimes, regret is dead weight carried through life. Other times, its fuel. Let’s face it, our life is full of crowns. But most forget to leave the ‘crown’ at work.

Remember, you may be a CEO, but when you enter home, you’re a wife, a husband, a son or daughter, daughter-in-law, or son-in-law. And no one can take that place. As such, the it is important to understand that each positional choice is its own sacrifice and its own peacefulness. It’s highly improbable to “have it all.”

Which should be chosen? It’s never easy. Letter 17 was written from such thoughts.


My Dear Love:

The other day, we discussed the pros and cons of ‘should have.’ Should have is a pseudo for regret. All of us have them. In truth, entrepreneurs seen to just hold onto broken dreams. “What if I would have moved faster?”  “What if I would have moved slower?”  “What if I would have risked more?”  “What if I would have risked less?”

Every executive has their regrets. I remember a former CEO once discussing balance.

Upon hearing that CEO’s desk would be replaced, the CEO’s daughter protested, explaining she’d slept beneath that desk while growing up, “How can you give this desk away?”

Reflecting on that moment, the CEO said: “My God! What a memory for her to have.”

For many, our leaders climb the tree, surveys the situation, and yells, “Wrong jungle!” Without hesitation, the managers, in unison, yell back, “Shut up! We’re making progress.”

Truth be told, everyone leaves a legacy. Mostly, that legacy is either “It’s all about me,” or “I’m going to do something worthy for someone else.” You’ll have few regrets if you aim high and miss. However, most aim low and hit. Settling for second best, every annual performance review received, the willingly open and accept the gift called ‘regret.’ In truth, God bestowed upon many a healthy mind, a healthy body, fruits of the field, the garden, the corn, the wine, the oil. All, tokens of favor. But because these bountiful gifts are so selfishly utilized, they lose them all.

So, a few thoughts. First. Living life too cautiously and keeping the status quo leaves regrets. Remain outside of your comfort zone and watch zone expand. The more risks you take, the easier it becomes. Second. You always have yourself. So, work on it and make it your best relationship. Third. As long as you are loved, respected, and treated well, I will always be happy. Fourth. Faith is God’s hotline to you. Honor yourself by walking in faith. Rest in faith, work in faith and love in faith.

There’s one last lesson … Honestly, of all the places I’ve been, I never imagined earth had so much love. How that moment shines for me still when I hold your hand. Know that I love you and will always be there for you. No matter what, I’ve got your back. I love and adore you. There is nothing you could possibly do to change that.

With you, there are no regrets.

None.

Several years ago, while traveling through Florida, my dear friend called with a business dilemma. “How do I handle this ethical problem with a client.”  Sarcastically, I scanned my iPhone and found no app for ‘moral compass.’ Nope. Nada. Didn’t exist.

In essence, business leaders, generals, foreign dignitaries and presidents alike have found can’t simply Google search ethical doctrine, mouth a political sound bite, and appear real. So, I asked, “If everything went south, would she eat the peanut butter?”

Huh?” she replied.

To highlight my intent, I referenced the peanut butter salmonella case.

In 2009, a salmonella outbreak killed nine people. The ninth fatality, an elderly Ohio woman, occurred during a congressional hearing. At one point in the hearing, Rep. Greg Walden (R-Ore.) held up a gallon-sized bucket wrapped in yellow crime-scene tape, presumably containing some type of recalled peanut butter product, and asked the business leader whether he would be willing to “take the lid off” and eat any of it.

Sometimes, real leadership is about having to eat the ‘peanut butter.’

Letter 16 was written as a follow-up to that conversation. Unopened since, I found some meaning leaders could use today.


My Dear Friend:

Most business leaders are forever searching for a leadership secret that will vault their company to the stratosphere. Likewise, ever notice how many self-help gurus claim to have the magic bullet for which only they have discovered. At the end today (and every decade) leadership greatness is rare.

In truth, the values that shape what we, as individuals, decide is right or wrong can’t be digested, instantly researched or found in a corporate weekend seminar. The degree to which values and principles arise and again, and the degree to which people accept and live in harmony to those values will either create survival and stability or disintegration and destruction. We see this far too common from political leaders and followers alike willingly and freely accepting disunity.

Lincoln once said “… if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” Decisions should not be judged as ‘good politics’ where ‘the path of the least resistance’ has firmly rooted like moss on trees. These types of decisions often lead to ‘peanut butter,’ i.e., a breach of trust.

It’s hard to describe good values. However, the 2011 Tōhoku earthquake and tsunami offered a glimpse.

Rescue Teams searched for the missing along hundreds of miles of the coast, and thousands of hungry survivors huddled in darkened emergency centers cut off from rescuers and aid. Japanese citizens patiently waited and passed whatever available water there was, to those who needing it first.

Values are written over centuries. They were created over lifetimes. They were challenged during World Wars, renewed on September 11th, revisited during times of economic uncertainty and political fear, and celebrated during annual harvests, reaping leftovers from a drought-ridden field.

Stephen Covey stated we must develop our value system with deep respect for “true north” principles. If you need a hint, ‘true north’ is about people. Love for thy neighbor is unarguable. As such, for all the years I have known and loved you, your principles are proven. They endured and quite often mirror by young mentors.

From a religious perspective, going back to my theological days, the six major world religions all teach the same basic core beliefs – “you reap what you sow” and “actions are more important than words.”  In today’s world, those professing freedom, are men who want crops without plowing, rain without thunder, the of joy Spring without the heat of Summer. They want ocean breezes but not its storms.

Cloak your decisions in love and you’ll weather most storms. Yup. May have to rebuild a roof here and there, bandage a knee, and morn, but your friends, coworkers, employees, community and I all walk with you.

Truth is, that real life … real values … and real love … is about struggle. There is no ‘true north’ without struggle. However, real love overcomes struggle. And that, my love, is what I believe Christ referenced.

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

Real love is always with us. And like His, my love is always with you.

Don’t have that? Well, prepare to eat ‘peanut butter.’ Ha!

With all my love … W.

Letter 15 was written on ‘Mentoring Day.’ I attribute my entire success and my multi-decade career to mentoring. The reason I believe so strongly in mentoring is because those key individuals will tell you the truth. If you have a good mentor, they are brave enough to tell you what you don’t necessarily want to hear but need. For me, those key mentors helped me see a clearer path by clearing out the noise.

There is a saying, alternately attributed to Buddha Siddhartha Guatama Shakyamuni and the Theosophists: “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” I first heard the phrase from Wayne Dyer. Regardless of who came up with it, I think it’s a key concept. In my own life, I “went it alone” for years. “I am a rock. I am an island” was my mantra. Even though I had friends to lean on, I never did. Not only that, when I felt challenged in my life, it took years to realize that’s not what I needed. As such, over the decades, even the most unintentional connections turned into mentoring situations.

For me, my mentors lit the way. However, I had to walk the path. As a Buddhist, I have realized that anything and everything is a teacher in this world. I wrote this letter to my love in an effort to reminded others when they made a positive impact. The role my love had in my life, regardless of how long or how brief, how positive or negative, how ordinary or extraordinary, shaped my world for the better. Some would claim spirituality guided me. Maybe. But not quite. In truth, it was her that guided me through the ebbs and flows of life, and made an irrevocable impact on who I am.

A mentor should be life’s samurai. Cut the crap, “separate the wheat from the chaff.”

Always thank your mentor. This letter was meant for that.


My Dear Friend:

I am no longer the island seen from afar. It’s neither because God called me for a higher purpose nor for missed adventures. Simply understood, it’s because I know you are my port of worship.

Your willingness to expand horizons – to include me – ensured my existence. You are, bar far, the most influential person of my life. I am surprised to hear the multitude confused by your compassion. However, I can hear your heart from thousands of miles. Your eyes shine. Your heart beats. Your care sparks raging infernos. You make everyone possess the “well of possibility.”

I didn’t have enough life experience to know how special you were. You provided a wealth of growth that encouraged me to be the best person possible. You’d ask deep personal questions. And even though I didn’t know how to answer, I wish someone would ask me the same today. I was an unlovable monster. Yet you loved. I was often confused. still, you guided. At times, I was heartbroken. And you comforted. When I was me, you proved that was enough. You got so tangled up in my life’s web that you became my mentor, my love, and my friend.

I’ve been open and drank every glass of wisdom. I tasted your ups and downs, glory and peace. You peered into the crystal ball and gave me your best advice. I only hope my brain properly recorded and stored these thoughts forever.

I promise to continue chasing my dream, but I understand it will be hard. My journey will not hand success without sacrifice. I will be humble, charismatic, reserved, and learn to blend in. I will ensure the world sees my heart, mind, and yearn to understand how the flame within will be harnessed and used wisely.

You have influenced me to transform lives. I will transform lives.

You have influenced me to transform communities. So. I will transform communities.

You influenced me to transform myself. Yet, I hope I can transform you.

God hadn’t called for a higher purpose. I called myself.

With Love, …. W

The fourteenth letter was written in reference to the question, “How will I find you if you’re not here?”

Reading this letter after so many years, I honestly can reinforce that no one can show you one true method. And self-help guru’s offering a technique offer only a program that had somehow worked for them. But watch yourself. When you talk to someone, are you aware of it or are you simply identifying with it?

A key to knowing someone is “watching.” Is that person aware of their anger, happiness or peacefulness? Can they study their own experience and attempt to understand it? Where did it come from? What brought it on? I don’t know of any other way to awareness. I belief one can only change that which is understood. As noted in my letter, one has to get to the middle to ‘know.’ For me, I’ve found that which is not understand is often repressed. But when you understand it, it changes.

I believe the key to finding someone is through that person’s love. Another way of saying it, perfect love casts out fear. In my letter I make a series of statements – a guide if you will – on finding me. In other words, to find me when not physically present is to experience pain yet be able to dream. One can also find me by being foolish for love and shout ‘yes’ (thank you) to God upon the shores of a lake. To find me you must be true to yourself. To find me, regardless of what life throws at your door, get up and help someone in need. Do those things and you will find me?

What I tried to provide was a compass. There were no demands, no expectations, and no dependency. I did not demand that my love make me happy or that my ultimate happiness lay in her. I provided a guide … for her … on how to find me. Maybe, just maybe … such a guide might work for you.


My Dear Love:

You once asked how to find me. In truth, all of us are constantly changing and we continually search, assess and rediscover ourselves. Even though I have a passion for life, for the few close friends who’ll stand beside me, for passions captured and passions missed. Still, does anyone really know me? Do I even know myself? The more I see, the more I believe I’ve remained a mystery, even unto myself.

While we are profoundly emotionally deep and rich in our belief for each other, just how do we attest to knowing? Often, I look upon myself with great curiosity, even wonderment. Robert Frost’s poem The Secret Sits is a simple couplet where its meaning is left unto the mystery of the reader.

“We dance around the ring and suppose,
But the secret sits in the middle and knows.”

All of us have spent our lives dancing in a circle while simultaneously contemplating life. And in the end, maybe the ‘secret’ is God. Only god knows the secret to all which exists. Another interpretation could be that the world we live is often left open to interpretation. We, as stewards, are given the right to interpret the world upon our own experiences.

However, to truly find me, can you understand ache while simultaneously dare to dream? If you wish to find me, will you risk looking like a fool for love for the adventure of being alive? To find me, can you sit in pain without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it? To find me, can you be in joy while dancing under a moonlit, start-filled sky? To find me, is it possible to live momentarily live in the space between disappointing another while remaining true to thy own self? Is it possible not betray your soul? Is it possible to live with failure and while standing at upon a lake’s shore and shout, ‘Yes?’ To find me, can you find grief and despair, experience being weary and bruised, then get up, and do what needs to be done to feed the poor?

In essence, to find me, you must find yourself, for ‘I’ am in the middle.

While deep and rich, I treasure our friendship and love. Our exchanges are extremely important. I suppose one could muster old fashioned boundaries, but that may impede our spiritual growth and love. Whenever the world bogs you down, wherever the compass takes, you can find me in my words, letters and love.

Find me and I shall find you.

Love … W

Originally, I wrote the thirteenth letter in response to the question, “Why I was called?” In years since, I’ve come to learn that one true way to answer this question is by being true to yourself. In essence, one has to know oneself, accept oneself; know their strengths, passions, and limitations. One path to knowledge is through living life. Unfortunately, many never live. Thus, one is neither able to embrace oneself nor truly understand the reason they’ve been called.

In spite of this understanding, I look upon some parts of my life cringe from some things either said or did. My ethical GPS went askew, neglecting that to which I had been called. In those times, my failure to identify and affirm the truth didn’t mean there wasn’t consequences. Rather, the harm projected was greater because some may have believed I didn’t care whether or not I (and to a larger extent, society) adhered to truth or equality.

This letter was written as a call to monarchs – monarchs of the environment – monarchs for the people. We must guard and bear one another’s burden. Sounds idyllic. Yet, we should be about standing for truth, regardless of the jeers. Lastly, treat everyone with kindness – not because they are kindhearted, but because we are.

In reading my thirteenth letter, what pops into my head is the desire to be true to yourself. if you can’t find them, steal them. Dale Carnegie wrote:

“The ideas I stand for are not mine. I borrowed them from Socrates. I swiped them from Chesterfield. I stole them from Jesus. And I put them in a book. If you don’t like their rules, whose would you use?”

Yes, I wrote this letter to my love, but its core message is about being true to yourself.


My Dear Friend:

Recently, I the movie ‘Frozen’ and was enchanted by the characters struggles as I did in 2013. Like all, there was love, personal setback, and subsequent victories. In most movies, lessons will smack one right across the face. Movies such as Crash, The Blind Side, Life is Beautiful, and A Christmas Coral are just a few of the thousands. In most movies, via each character, we live, dream, root, cry and rejoice.

For many on this planet, life is not a Disney movie. As such, you and I have seen undue wrong. As a team, we’ve work for reconciliation in our own world, our schools, our home, our social acquaintances and friends. However, the voice of injustice often cries from a wilderness most fail to go. “Ah.” We say. “Tomorrow.” As such, we pass by the victim to tarry another day. That ‘tarry’ becomes another day – then another – then another – and so on. We barter, “What can I write? Who can I possibly help?”

It’s hard to start the next chapter of life while constantly rereading the last.

Walking with you every day, I’ve truly honored to be in your leadership and effort to bridge equality. As a result, I have encountered many a friend I may have never crossed paths with. Yet, the question you and I often discuss is not how we got here, to this event or that event. Rather, the question I recently thought of is, “Why was I called here?”

I thought hard.

The answer struck walking in cool October winds near a small, but vacant city park. After stumbling and steadying myself against a park bench, for a moment – yeah, just a moment – the souls of former children, mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters spoke through falling leaves.

It wasn’t an impressive answer. Some might claim it rather vague, even unassuming. As a Buddhist, I’ve been taught love and compassion are the driving force behind each and every action. And within those voices, I was surrounded by hearts from years gone by. Yet I was able to bridge past and present and reached humanity, professed dignity and brought forth a wealth of love never seen.

Remember, many a brick wall is comprised of flesh? You’ve always blasted through. Hell, we didn’t know if we were right or wrong. We just blasted past when feasible. And that’s our call – to fight – for the forgotten, to blast through walls of flesh, where we can, when we can, but always in love and compassion. And as we move forward, it is imperative to maintain compassion. Since many forgot to support one another in equality, God chose us to reinforce His gift of love. Therefore, be true – always be true.

Our world has always been about bonding. As such, we need to join others who will make it better. Just as the world moves forward unto the future, you and I can’t go back. So, while you know this letter is only for your eyes – I must confess. You know that cool October wind mentioned earlier? I wasn’t solely surrounded by only hearts from years gone by. I heard children from our future.

Thus, this letter is for them. God calls us to be stalwarts for them. You and I are part of their future. We are commanded to continue the good fight.

Always remain that amazing you. I embrace you, even now, even here.

With love ….. W

Early in my career, I met Stephen Covey during a cross-country flight. In those brief hours, we connected and I was presented with a high-level preview of his forth coming book, ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.’ For a long thereafter, I was a Covey fan.

When Covey passed in 2012, had we met on the street, I would confess I had forgotten many keys of Habits success. Same is true of Wayne Dyer. I had met Dr. Dyer during several conferences, but admittedly, since his death, the methods of the guru has simply disappeared. Likewise Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra, Dale Carnegie, and others.

Most experts have their ‘time,’ then end. What’s the difference? True change is adopted and lasts forever. I then decided to look past the guru section of life and focused on those known and seen – business leaders.

As one ascends leadership’s ladder, you’ll eventually face a quandary: it takes a unique type of person to campaign for leadership of a multi-national company. Most of the extraordinary great have a deep sense of humility. In true form, no one denies also having an out-sized ego, deep level of self-love, and massive ambition as additional requirements.

Still, regardless of personal quality, in the course of running a business, some will fawn. Others will become suspicious. A few will hate everything for no other reason than ‘just because.’ Don’t ignore such attitudes, but don’t be drawn to or led by them either.

The key lesson learned from these leaders is this: offer support. Always support those who deserve and those in need. Letter twelve was written form this perspective.


My Dear Friend:

Over the past several months, Company ABC has created significant distress. In the aftermath, all the anxiety, stress and self-doubt has created a few endless nights of staring into the ceiling.

Whatever is said and done, you are more than enough. You’re unique – one who’s often been above the fray and beyond reproach. Your touch has graced many a person and those fortunate enough to have worked for you know integrity is your constant companion. And if all this is a common daily event for us, then presume to understand God knows as well. You simply need to know how much we love you; how much everyone in your life loves you; how much everyone in your life supports you.

It’s true. Every leader faces challenges. Some surrounding you will find it difficult to express words of support, for they’ve missed all the ways you’ve touched their lives. As such, remember, that regardless of what is said, you bring an unimaginable amount of love to the world and radiate that love is a way God expressed all to do.

You are the only person who’s been committed to developing our future. Throughout your career, you’ve provided valuable jobs for those in need, assisted so many in building professional skills, and provided innovative solutions for those facing a challenging business market.

Sure you’ll get knocked about a bit. Supposed too, but that’s how compassion, empathy, and love gets developed. You may feel like giving up. Yet, that’s where strength is molded. Trail and tribulations may batter your shore, but faith becomes the armor. Through the tears and smiles, laughter and heartache, all of us shares your vision. You are more than the selfish opinion of one company. You are amazingly special. There is no one other person like you.

No person sent to this world has your heartbeat and soul. Stand strong, for we are with you.

The eleventh letter focuses upon the beauty of reflection. One day prior to New Year’s Eve, my love and I sipped Starbucks coffee and discussed the past year. In discussing self-reflection, I realized that one’s internal reflection process is extremely important. Rarely is it performed properly, for authenticity is quite difficult.

The reality is that all of us will face many different risks throughout our life, and the process of identifying them can sometimes be critical and yet complex.  Emerging risks are ever present, and much like my generation, the situations faced by parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles may not have even comprehended what we face today.

So, just as you see a changing world, the importance of reflection is critical. Yet, many of use are bogged in the quagmire between arrogance and confidence. I have learned more from times of failure versus success.  My hope for you is that you take time to learn the importance of reflection how this one skill will assist you in triumphing more than falling.  Recognize failure, however so slight, and learn from it.

Moments of self-reflection is both dynamic and powerful. Self-reflection is how we can transform society. Transforming society happens one person at a time, by our willingness to be kind to ourselves, and our willingness to be kind to one another. Please self-reflect. Learn to feel worthy and to connect with human goodness.


My Dear Friend:

Self-reflection, in and of itself, can be extremely difficult. Spending time self-reflecting can allow self-efficacy (belief in our abilities) to blossom. The point of self-reflection is to see progression in your thinking and understanding of what you’ve learned – either about yourself or something else. Make changes accordingly.

However, over time, you will grow to be your own best friend and your biggest enemy, but I know you will balance it out as you go. Your face will change and it won’t be as soft. I want you to know you’ll only get more beautiful as time passes, and I’ll need you to believe it, for every day, a new world awaits, filled with new people, waiting for just you.

Some days, it feels as if time passes. Comes and goes. As Heinrich Harrer wrote:

“… even in a world in which time stands still, everything moves.

I don’t know where I’m going nor if my bad deeds can be purified. There are so many things I have done that I regret. But when I come to a full stop I hope you understand that the distance between us is not as great as it seems.”

Some claim my best work is accomplished alone. As I move across the country to work with the best, I am seen by many as having a good amount of success. The importance is that being alone doesn’t stop the tasks at hand. And constant reflection is the compass by which I move. I am connected and interconnected with a higher truth of guidance.

Reflect. Crave change. Nothing is perfect and no timing is never right. So, act anyway. When crap hits the fan, remember reflection and compassion is the Kevlar that will ensure your life. Therefore, be fearless in your pursuit of your life, your love, your truth, and purpose. There’s no harm in not knowing it all. You never will. So, trust me, it’ll change anyway.

Reflect my love. Reflect – for the distance between is not that great.

This letter was written during a moment of doubt.

Like many, my friend struggled with achievement on occasion. Or, as the question was often phrased, “Do I do enough?” The crux of the concern was ‘achievement‘ –  how one defines it and how hard it is for a female to achieve anything recognizable in the business world.

Throughout the years, I recall all of those key mentors who just happened to appear in my life, as required. Still, reflecting back through the years, one key mentor after another passed on, as had many other heroes in my life. Skiver, Vogel, Navarro, Huff, Robinson and so many others. Gone. From their eyes, each expected more of me than what was seen. Each gave their best, freely admitted to my worst, often put me in my place, then rehabilitated me, and forgave for things I either said, did or did not do.

Still, my lover was also a wonderful mentor. After all these years apart, she remains unforgotten.

If she had read this letter, she would have learned a little of smidgen of Buddhist philosophy. The chief lesson being that life has taught that there’s a significant difference between well-known and known well.  To say someone is well-known merely places an external label connoting some level of notoriety.  This could be attached to someone popular, maybe well-skilled at something, or just notable for something that draws the attention of many. Known well, however, is a whole other story.

Read on.


My Dear Friend:

Over the years, almost all look upon our mentors in awe. Yet, for many, achieving one’s pinnacle is filled with exhaustion and, at times, desperation. In truth, you’ve wondered whether you’ve made a difference, gave something back to the community you’ve long served.

In truth, you’ve delivered more than most ever expected.  And regardless of the darker days of self-doubt, you’ve pushed harder than others. Passion for those whom you’ve led flows through your veins.

Of course, times of momentary fear, the fear of losing control, the fear of losing commitment and the fear of rejection has crossed your path. As such, we too, have had our ups and downs. Still, I thank you for all the moments we’ve been together. Because of you I gathered the courage to open my soul, to find the strength to get involved for the community members, to join action for that which is important to the next generation. I learned to stand up, for to have stood up and get shouted down is far better than never having stood at all.

Your biggest achievement? Me. You have instructed well. You have brought the very presence of spirituality to my life. I know God has touched your soul in many special ways, in ways that you are able to deliver His presence to others. I know this to be true, because I have experienced every time we’ve talked.

As you taught, genuine relationships involve being well-known and known well.  Quality relationships with colleagues, friends, customers and business associates go beyond what just being well-known can bring. Yet, you taught me the spiritual – the desire to find common ground for personal, professional, and maybe even a deeper level of connection with others. Thus, the lesson? Seek to know others well and allow yourself to become known well.

Thank you for all of the important lessons you taught me. Thank you for loving me, even when I failed. Most of all, thank you for being the female mentor I always needed.

The following is the second of two love letters.

The ending verse contains the word ‘Shringara’ (rapturous intimacy). I found Shringara thumbing through some ancient Sanskrit on a rainy afternoon at the National Library of Ireland. I remembered the word then on.

It has been said that Shringara Rasa can simply be translated as erotic love, romantic love or attraction or beauty. There are other levels used to describe love, but none can match it in its scope and variety. It is erotic love or passionate love and has been traced to the pleasure of love. The term literally means to decorate, or engage in a love talk. The playful exchanges between lovers or spouses, all evoke Shringara.

From a Buddhist perspective, all lovers must evoke Shringara.


My Dear Friend:

As we dined today, your eyes, lips and love smoothed the soul and nurtured my spirit. We kissed and felt the power of love between us, as if we could fend off anything unforgiving. Your caress sped my heart and I trembled in awe. I sleep in you, and just maybe, you sleep in me.

My eyes hold their breath. Shall we turn back? Should we? Shall we move ahead? Should we? I know, that if we ever lose this moment, I will etch your eyes. Thus, we I will find you again, and again. Like always, where ever we run, there will begin. There will always be another journey. There will always be another embrace.

Tonight, we can be what God has meant us to be. Somewhere close, the warmth of your breath smolders, your aroma. Ah. Your aroma. Passion. Death. Love Rekindled. Resurrection.

Restless, I dream. Dipping my fingers unto thy heart. There is no wilderness, no mountain, no horizon that can set our sun. We shall sit, waiting for the moon. Waiting for another resurrection. Our resurrection. Come find me. And I will find you.

In vain, the moon tries to paint your face. It fails to catch your grace. Can the caress your ecstasy? Can it kiss thy fruit? Shall it feel the heat of your skin, to taste mammilla, to taste the garden? I quiver. You are a forest of love … a forest of my life.

You are my Shringara.

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