Unknown Buddhist

Personally, it’s a tough day for me. I have come close to violating Precept 4 (vowing to refrain from false speech) on several occasions.

As I sit and have breakfast at a Residence Inn, those who disregard personal self-control and simply act appall me, as they consume and discard in any fashion they see fit.  The amount of wasted food, over eating and lack of decorum is amazing.

The venerable Thich Nhat Hanh wrote about fourteen precepts of Engaged Buddhism. I will not go through all of them here, but in reflecting upon the above scenario, I remembered Mr. Hanh’s fourteenth: “Do not mistreat your body. Learn to handle it with respect.”

Honesty, I am not the poster child of health. I do not have that chiseled hard Olympic body seen on NBC. I am not even close.  Yet I continually struggle to not only take care of myself, but to respect others. Can I speak and listen in a way that can help not only myself, but others as well, to transform suffering and see the way out of difficult situations? Am I determined not to say untruthful things for the sake of personal interest or to impress people, nor to utter words that might cause division or hatred? Can I protect the joy and harmony by refraining from speaking about the faults of another person in their absence and always ask myself whether my perceptions are correct? Can I speak only with the intention to understand and help transform the situation?

And now, even as I write this, the anger of the moment has passed.  I did not lose myself in dispersion or be carried away by regrets, worries about the future, or cravings, anger, or jealousy in the present. I have been able to cultivate seeds of joy, peace, love, and understanding in myself, thus facilitating the work of transformation and healing in my own consciousness.

At the end of the day, the goal of internal peace must be replaced with peace as a practice.  As a nation, we can neither win or wage lasting peace nor can we make or create a lasting peace for others unless we unceasingly work at it with constant commitment.

Saturday I opened a map, picked Cape Charles, VA and headed south on US 13. As of the census[1] of 2000, there were 1,134 people, 536 households, and 278 families residing in town. And upon visiting there, this is truly one lonely town. I somehow expected more.

The beach area was gorgeous and the white sandy beaches are tremendously beautiful.

Not that I paid attention during geology class, but no one would know that a meteorite hit this are some 35 million years ago.

The Chesapeake Bay Impact Crater looks like an upside-down sombrero, with an upturned outer rim, a trough and then a high peak in the center. Accordingly, this has been termed a ‘complex crater,’ as opposed to a simple bowl shaped crater. The crater’s shape was affected by the meteorite landing in the water. The space debris penetrated through several hundred feet of ocean water and a couple thousand feet of the ocean floor to create a crater 56 miles in diameter.

I bailed on Cape Charles, heading back north. The only local joint I could find to eat was ‘Tammy and Johnny’s,’ a local hamburger joint in Melfa, VA. The size and very nature of the place, I figured this had all the makings of great burger and fry joint.

Sorry to say, I was wrong. The place was as almost as hot inside as outside, with numerous ‘flies’ and uncontrolled kids flying around. Table tops were not cleaned, yet the lines backed up out the door. Restrooms? … Outside.

The cheeseburger … eh’ ok!

Fries … better than the cheese burger.

So … if you’re in the area, “skip it.”

As a frequent traveler, I often wind up in some rather strange places.  And if there were ever a strange place for a Buddhist, it would be ‘Hooters.’ However, this very afternoon, I stumbled into the local Hooters at the Ocean Gateway, Ocean Beach, MD location. And there for lunch, I met ‘Nicole,’ a wonderful waitress and aspiring Public Relations/Marketing guru.

Through the years of travel, there has always been an uneasy dance between server and customer. Probably more so at Hooters since almost everyone pins an overt, but undisclosed, sexuality to the business.  In truth, there can simply be an enormous amount of discomfort involved between general discussions and relationships. And we, as customers, are afraid of being hurt, disappointed, overtaxed, ignored and incorrectly perceived hostile. The interesting part is that all these things can happen. Yet, while these incidents are often discussed, they are hardly representative.

Nicole was exceptional. Her personality and heart for me as a customer provided the type of dialogue only received with friends. She’s wasn’t simply a waitress or an employee, Nicole is an exceptional employee rarely seen in this industry.  She provided total dedication and commitment and treated everyone to the same high standard of service whether it was for me or other patrons. She had a wonderful sense of humor, enthusiasm and energy levels beyond most. She is truly is a credit to your restaurant and fully epitomizes what 5 star service is about.

As we all know people who work in the travel, hospitality and restaurant industries tend to work extremely long hours and often for not a great deal of pay so a letter of thanks from a wayward traveler like me may be so rewarding. Not only that, by acknowledging the importance of the her work, it will ensure that everyone on the Hooters team will continue to strive to even exceed the high standards of service.

Way to go Nicole. Way to go Hooters!

As some of you know, I do work in the healthcare arena.  As such, sometimes I run across something different. There is now a twelve-step recovery program for Buddhists. I guess there has been for some time, I just never heard about it.

Successful recovery in any 12-Step program deeply depends on our making a spiritual practice an intimate part of our daily lives. No matter if it is NA, OA, Al Anon, AA, or any other program molded from the principles developed by Bill Wilson.  There has to be some connection to spirituality (inner being, etc.)

For those who follow Buddhism, Buddhism can appeal to a broad range of individuals because it is an experiential spiritual practice that empowers us to improve our conscious contact with a Greater Power of our understanding through rational investigation, contemplation, and profound insight, rather than a religion that requires blind faith of its followers.

The nutshell of the steps are as follows:

1. We admit that we’re powerless over our craving and addiction and that our lives have become unmanageable.
2. We came to believe that a Power greater than our individual selves could restore us to wholeness.
3. We make a decision to take refuge in and entrust ourselves to the compassion and guidance of a Greater Power of our understanding.
4. We make a searching and fearless moral inventory of our thoughts, words, and deeds.
5. We admit to ourselves, our Greater Power, and another human being the precise moral nature of our thoughts, words, and deeds.
6. We become entirely ready to have our Greater Power transform our unwholesome characteristics into wholesome ones.
7. We humbly turn over our unwholesome and unskillful qualities to our Greater Power to be transformed into positive ones.
8. We make a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. We make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. We continue to remain mindful of our mental, verbal, and physical actions, and when we acted unskillfully, promptly admit it.
11. We engage in meditation and prayer in order to improve our conscious contact with our Greater Power (of our understanding) and to gain the insight and strength to realize and attain our Greater Power’s compassionate aspiration for us.
12. Having realized a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we carry this message to others in need of recovery, and try to practice these principles in all our affairs.

While I openly admit to not reading this, there is a ‘The 12-Step Buddhist’ paperback.

 May your path be healing.

As many of you know, I follow a blog by Actress Lynn Chen, “The Actor’s Diet.”

Outside of a couple of emails, she doesn’t know me from any other ‘hole-in-the-wall.’

But since I follow her blog regularly, I hope this makes everyone laugh. So in the essence of good humor and fun:

A picture of her meal:

And alas, a picture of my meal (as I sat in the hotel):

I guess I need to get out and ‘taste’ the day. 😉

Stay well Ms. Chen and prayers to your father.

In ‘Batman Begins,’ Batman made a very interesting quote to Rachel Dawes, “It’s not who I am underneath, but what I ‘do’ that defines me.” I choose this for the ‘…what I do that defines me” part of the quote, for it leads directly into the Precept 4” “Refrain from false speech.”  It isn’t that everyone could or should be Batman; merely the very act of refraining from false speech shows tremendous character. Very hard to do … but if performed, shows tremendous character.

Refraining from false speech is about lying. Not just about those big hairy lies, but even the ‘small’ or ‘white lies.’ Some have expanded this further to not giving biased or false information. And that’s where it gets difficult. If you are in a position where you lie by omission or tell white lies to protect someone, it is suggested that we consider ways to re-phrase the message without being deceptive.

Many believe there is an important distinction to be made between public and private life. Some believe lying is more justified in public versus private. As constituents, we tolerate a politician who lies because he adores and is rigorously faithful to society yet experiences some marital infidelity. We accept both because we believe in the possibility of comprehensive integrity.

Whether one agrees with his political stance or not, former Presidential Candidate Ross Perot once made an interesting quip, “any man who will lie to his wife will lie to me.” I know from personal experience, that once the relationship of trust is violated, there is no moral distinction to be drawn. And regardless of reason, it’s almost impossible to justify.

In business, I have found very few businesses where employees are equal. Conceptually, these businesses are based upon the premise that people, treated with honesty and concern, will respond with loyalty and hard work. Still, while that model does exist, I have seen business leaders sell-out or close the operation with little concern for their employees or customers.

I have consulted with many companies whose business model accentuated sales over ethics. I recently had a client privately say his business model was to receive millions in government incentives and then close. Factually verifying the information, I found it highly unethical, but strangely, not illegal.  I once saw a short-lived reality TV show where a car-dealer sold his father a high-end truck, not because his father needed the vehcile, but simply to meet a monthly quota.

If we are to be leaders, we must stand for something. We have to hear all sides of the issue, treat everyone as partners, and formulate honesty as the foundation of our life.

Yes, this precept is very hard to accomplish every single day.  And like most, I have failed. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t get up and try to get it right. All if us face extraordinary situations daily where ethics have, and will continue to be, sliced to an atomic subsurface.

“When regard for truth has been broken down or even slightly weakened, all things will remain doubtful.” (St. Augustine).

Remember Batman, it’s “what I ‘do’ that defines me.” Remain true!

“The outpouring of support from everyone has been tremendous and overwhelming. When I haven’t been crying out of fear and frustration (still waiting to hear about my father’s condition) I’ve been shedding tears of gratitude from all of your comforting comments, emails, calls, and texts. Thank you for embracing me and my family in well wishes and love during what is, undoubtedly, the most difficult thing we’ve ever had to deal with.“

Lynn, we are with you.

It’s 9:48 AM here in Ocean City, Maryland where I walk the beach in the gentle rain and caressing with the ocean waves.

Some will claim thoughts are like ocean waves, coming and going, with no two waves exactly alike.  Yet, I’ve allowed myself to enjoy the waves, its harmonic balance and tranquility. They bring an awareness to deeper aspects of myself that reside underneath ~ i.e., the waves of my own thoughts, emotions, and sensations.

Sometimes I want to dance upon the waves, cup its energy in my hand and hold onto the softness of beauty reflected in the morning light. I dive into the deep well of water, to a place of peaceful abiding, watching the abundant life underneath the shoreline.

As actress Lynn Chen quoted on her blog, The Actor’s Diet:

“Life is far from perfect for me right now.  This morning my father went in for heart surgery.  There were complications.  I’m still waiting for him to wake up, and to hear what our future will be.”

“Be careful before you put any negativity out into the world, because you never know the full story of what’s going on.  And please, take the time to embrace as much love as you possibly can.  Right now.”

Each person is an ocean; each person is a wave. We can hate or we can love. We can live and we can endure. We can build or destroy.

Today, hereon this beach, in this moment, I choose to share my love with all whom cross my path. I especially give my prayers to Actress Lynn Chen and her father and hope that the oceans of people give comfort and love.

On an east bound American Airline flight, I stumbled upon a great article in the “American Way’ magazine written by Ethan Rouen. Mr. Rouen’s article “Between a Rock and Hard Place,” described the life of Alex Honnold, one of the greatest free-solo climbers in the world. Mr. Honnold, 26, climbs free-solo, flawless, and represents the same ability of many top climbers including mental fortitude, his ability to remain focused hour after hour.

One of the key statements was a prolific Buddhist statement:

“He is always in the moment, embracing the immediate physical demands of his task while accepting the inevitable distractions without letting them bother him.”

In a CNN report by John Cassaras, filmmaker Peter Mortimer state Honnold’s “an elite climber. In the mental game, Alex is inarguably the greatest in the history of the sport. His ability to be composed in the most extreme positions is beyond wherever anyone has gone or thought they could go.”

The key to being successful, in all forms of business is to be in the moment, be composed and embrace the demands without being bothered. That is the true form of artistic Buddhism and greatness.

Fareed Zakaria wrote an excellent reflection on gun control. Accordingly, Mr. Zakaria wrote:

“The United States stands out from the rest of the world not because it has more nutcases – I think we can assume that those people are sprinkled throughout every society equally – but because it has more guns.”

As a conscientious citizen, I loved Mr. Zakaria’s reflection, for after the Aurora, CO mass killing, I too have struggled with the perplexing issue of gun control. Is it right, wrong or am I just too indifferent?

While everyone can reflect upon the days of the original framers of the U.S. Constitution, many don’t. And after subsequent nights of gun violence in Chicago, the nation once again faces the moral issue of weapons and ownership. I wonder what the original framers would think of the current weapon dilemma the nation experiences today.

I presume the amount and death capacity of today’s weaponry would overwhelm them with emotions. In 1776, life was harsh and central/local militias were required. Today, missiles have the capacity to travel half the globe in an hour and destroy an entire nation.

While I concur with the right to ownership, I do not concur with the right to any and all weapons simply because I can. As a practical matter, is there any reason a college student seriously requires an AK-47 and over 5,000 some odd forms of ammunition, simply because he can?

We can only progress to inspired dialogue by asking the proper questions. If we start to ask great questions, maybe we can get better answers.