Tag Archive: Love


BlacksquareSix days after the Boeing 777 was shot down over the battlefields of eastern Ukraine, the first bodies finally arrived in the Netherlands, a country that bore the heaviest toll in flight MH17. As a lone bugler sounded the traditional “Last Post,” traffic ceased, church bells tolled and citizens stood in both silence and tears as a country offered a dignified return where Russia could not. Where Putin failed, Russian citizens did not.

Outside the Embassy of the Kingdom of the Netherlands, Russian citizens expressed their condolences and sorrow over the downing of flight MH17 over Eastern Ukraine, a solemn reminder that there is rarely little difference between the people of one nation to another.

Flags at foreign embassies within Moscow flew half-mast, in solidarity with the Dutch declaration for a day of mourning. One touching point worth mentioning is that some Russian citizens wrapped themselves in Gold/Blue flags, the colors of Ukraine, and others draped themselves in the red-white-blue of the Netherlands flag.

For Putin, none of events seemed worthy of his attention. Instead, Putin criticized the sanctions the US and EU imposed on Russia, which began before and after the MH17 plane crash.

The very concept of the state [Russian] sovereignty is becoming diluted. Unwanted regimes and countries that are trying to exercise independent policy or simply stand in the way of someone’s interests are getting destabilized,” Putin said.

Oh Mr. Putin, trying saying “…Unwanted regimes and countries standing in the way of someone’s interest …” to any Malaysia Flight MH17 victim. Who speaks for them?

CNN analyst, Fareed Zakaria noted, “We should be aware of the fact that this is truly a historically defining moment. If we do the things we need to do, if we are firm and clear, but also somewhat flexible, we can still give Putin the chance to redeem himself and to rejoin the community of nations.”

Seriously, I simply ask, “Does Putin even deserve to join the community of nations?”

It’s hard to imagine … one day the world looks so beautiful; the next day it’s awful. Scientifically, it seems impossible for the world to change so radically. But as lovers, fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, family and friends, we’re forced to reconcile that the world does change, sometimes quite significantly. Ecclesiastes 3:3 tells of there being “… a time for everything under heaven, a time for giving birth and a time for dying, a time for killing and a time for healing, a time for war and a time for peace.”

I don’t buy Ecclesiastes 3:3. All I see is a missing symphony of love, laughter, peace, joy and miracles – so many unfinished notes.

Citizens of Netherlands are changing their Facebook profile pictures and Twitter avatars to black squares and using #BringThemHome to commemorate the 193 Dutch citizens killed when Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 was shot down over Ukraine on July 17.

To honor all those we’ve lost, I do the same.

Screen Shot 2014-07-21 at 7.49.45 PMMy favorite line in The Secret Life of Walter Mitty is beautiful things don’t ask for attention. When Mitty finally finds Sean O’Connell, whom he’d been looking for throughout the film, O’Connell had been in front of his lens for hours, watching a white tiger.

O’Connell declares beautiful things don’t ask for attention.

“When are you going to take it?” Mitty queried.

“Sometimes I don’t,” O’Connell responded. “If I like a moment, for me, personally, I don’t like to have the distraction of the camera. I just want to stay in it.”

“Stay in it?”

“Yeah,” O’Connell clarified. “Right there. Right here.”

Real beauty is only visible for true beauty seekers to see. The Apostle Peter referenced much the same in 1 Peter 3:4-4:

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

O’Connell, however, was referencing the infamously lost photograph, number twenty-five, to which the audience sees only at film end. Only then do you realize O’Connell was referencing Mitty.

Mitty, “What was the picture?”

O’Connell, “Let’s just call it a ghost cat, Walter Mitty.”

Like a Zen master teaching, we’re reminded to live in the moment – to stop and be open to the beauty surrounding us. We need to just “enjoy” the moment.

Prior to his journey, Mitty’s lifestyle was drab. He went to work, hid in the background, and took care of his unemployed mother and sister. This version of Walter is kind of depressing for he reminds us of who we are right now—the person who’s just a number in society, who’s working hard to support other people. What’s sad is Walter resigned himself to the meaning others ascribed. And sadly, many of us accept these labels and become them. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty reminds us our time and work in life derives the most meaning only when we are working in and for the lives of others.

When O’Connell decided not to take a picture of a snow leopard, he told Walter he wanted to experience the moment rather than seeing it through a filtered lens. The ‘lens’ in this sequence is metaphoric of Walter’s daydreaming, even of our own.

Number 25 is my best ever, “O’Connell wrote in the opening film sequence. “the quintessence of life, I think. I trust you’ll get it where it needs to go, you always do.”

In truth, the most beautiful things don’t come from self-indulgent movie stars. These come from ordinary everyday people … like you and I. Some things don’t require a photo or an iPhone ‘selfie’ – you just need to live them.

Maxwell Maltz phrased it well:

Within you right now is the power to do things you never dreamed possible. This power becomes available to you just as soon as you can change your beliefs.”

Just be. Live.

A Hope to Kiss Again

Screen Shot 2014-07-11 at 1.32.50 AMMy Dearest K.

I shelter myself upon this island. It’s nearly midnight in Eastsound, but I find myself bathing in the moonlight of your eyes. I trace you with my soul. I kiss you with my heart. And a horde of words cannot fill the vastness that lay before us. Even from Missouri, I touch you. You are here and the cosmos shutters upon your beauty.

Your absence trembles my timepiece and in the early morning fog, you breathe through God’s solstice and for a moment I can caress your body – but for only a moment. You are life itself. I found love in your hands, the taste of Christ in your month and comfortably I lay in your arms.

No matter where the wind gales, I seek you. I will preserve by all God’s glory a hope to kiss thy lips once again and quench this dearth thirst.

With Love …

imageJust one day after the Supreme Court’s decision in Burwell v. Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc., 14 faith leaders wrote President Obama requesting a religious exemption in his planned executive order barring hiring discrimination based on sexual orientation by federal contractors:

… an extension of protection for one group not come at the expense of faith communities whose religious identities and beliefs motivate them to serve those in need.” And, “Without a robust religious exemption . . . this expansion of hiring rights will come at an unreasonable cost to the common good, national unity and religious freedom…

In opposition, a June 2014 letter to Attorney General Eric Holder, signed by over 90 religious, civil rights, women’s, and LGBT rights groups maintained:

“Religious Freedom Restoration Act should not be interpreted or employed as a tool for broadly overriding statutory protections against religious discrimination or to create a broad free exercise right to receive government grants without complying with applicable regulations that protect taxpayers.”

The 14 faith leaders aren’t appealing to law, but rather to Obama’s own history of opposing same-sex marriage and stated goals when forming the Office of Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships. However, while many of the faith leaders who openly requested exemption publicly emphasize all people are created equal in both divine image and love, they imply reaching consensus may be impossible. So rather than even try, a case is made for religious bigotry.

Basically, these religious leaders are requesting the ‘right‘ to discriminate via religion. Apparently Jesus recognizes ‘equality‘ is difficult and that being homophobic and discriminatory, is at times, ok. In truth, these are not moral, loving people … they’re assholes. When discriminating, the impact is not limited to that specific person. Mothers, fathers, children, nieces, nephews, uncles, aunts, and grandparents feel bigotry’s burden.

Using religious dogma trivializes people, demeans loved ones, their life and families. Zen Buddhism doesn’t make a distinction between same-sex and opposite-sex relationships. Instead, the expectation is not to harm, exploit or manipulate others, which would directly violate the third precept. For instance, Zen Buddhists often refer to hedonism, ascetic masochism and prostitution as practices that violate the “Middle Way.”

If two people have taken no vows and both love each other, why should sexual orientation matter?

imageSomeone once said the sin against the Holy Spirit is to no longer believe He can change the world. And it is sad to believe that anyone couldn’t possibly change me. In truth, I believe God has the power, most of us simply don’t have the will.

There is an important need to return to our source of renewal. We must reinterpret our faith and renew our love, not for only our God, but for our fellow man as well. But in our hurried get it done today world faith is reserved for an hour every seven days. We drop a couple of nickels in a donation cup and head off to our favorite sports game or family outing. Thus, by the end of the year, we’ve deleted any modicum of faith and huddle together during the holiday season while secretly asking what the hell have we done.

I remember back to the days of my youth when upon my Uncle’s farm. The hoe scrapped against the upper midwest dirt, lifting the dirt of my ancestors. This no longer was a simple row of corn or beans, strawberries or rhubarb. Whatever life I have in there herein now was given by those who fell to rest long before me. And as I tilled, I enriched their faith. It’s the same faith which created me.

My ancestors never knew a Buddha would come forth. Nor could any of your descendants have known you would come forth either. Yet it was by faith and love that they believed children and grandchildren would come – that if they worked and believed – life’s wonderment and power would erupt from the bosom of soil. Thus, by faith, they lived for you and I.

Just as our forefathers believed in faith, so should we. The sunset imbibes delight through every pore as I walk along the shore of East Sound, though it is cool as well as cloudy and windy, and I see nothing but a river of faith. As Henry David Thoreau noted, faith:

“… is instantly translated; its literal monument alone remains. The words which express our faith and piety are not definite; yet they are significant and fragrant like frankincense to superior natures.”

Why must we lose life changing faith? Why do we allow life to dull our perception and praise only commonality?

When God makes a covenant with us, God says, “I will love you with an everlasting love. I will be faithful to you, even when you run away from me, reject me, or betray me.” In our society we don’t speak much about covenants; we speak about contracts. When we make a contract with a person, we say, “I will fulfill my part as long as you fulfill yours. When you don’t live up to your promises, I no longer have to live up to mine.” Contracts are often broken because the partners are unwilling or unable to be faithful to their terms.

God never made a contract. He made a promise. The greatest promise of faith we can give to one another is our love. Through that love we can create an anxiety-free respite, find our faith, encourage one another, build confidence and find the freedom to choose our own way in life.

Real faith was never ‘out there.’ True faith has always resided within.

Knowing God

imageI read an article by a friend who claimed to know all about God. Simply put, by reading and studying the Bible, he was able to know God. I counter by stating Islamics, Jews, Muslims and most every other religion opine in a similar way. If one reads and study that one book for one month, one year or one decade, can you really completely learn about God?

Thomas Aquinas’ may have phrased the concept correctly when he wrote, “This is what is ultimate in the human knowledge of God – to know that we do not know God.”

Often times, while watching the news of one tragic event or another, someone often sputters, “Is God a loving Father or a great vivisectionist?” Honestly, even several spiritual experiences, God remains quite the mystery. I cannot always understand His logic, His love, His hatred or His grace. I have no clue if Jesus hates brussels sprouts or liver and onions as much as I. Nor can imagine what His purpose is for the Mojave desert, the Chicago Cubs winless streak or the ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians‘ television show.’

I do know many view God from a myopic personal viewpoint. For instance, when the father of the friend mentioned above became sickened from cancer, he loudly queried, “Why did God allow this to happen?” Yet when 15,887 people died in the Tōhoku earthquake and another 6,000 from the Philippine typhoon, nary a question was raised.

Thinking out loud, is it better sometimes for calamity to strike? Could such calamities awaken the deep root our own prejudices and snap them from the limb of our own tree?

I think the real tragedy is that all of us believe we know more of God than we actually do. Thus, we never etch a serious time in discovering the love He claims to have afforded. So I ask each of you today to drop your concepts, drop your opinions, drop your prejudices, drop your judgements and explore God’s love.

What does He look like now?

Start Liv’n It

nursing-homeThe corridors of all nursing homes can lead to challenging experiences. Personally, I learned to quit feeling sorry for myself and for my parents and accepted the situation. Mercifully, the smells of the facility eventually abated. Instead of walking past residents, I stopped, bent down to their wheelchair level, and listened. If you listen past the dementia, past the weakened bodies and into the heart, you’ll hear their stories.

As residents near the end of life, I’ve begun listening to their spiritual needs. From a Buddhist perspective, one would tend to review several key points, namely:

  • Gaining an understanding of the shortness and preciousness of life;
  • Considering what can help ourselves and others at the time of death;
  • Considering what goes on after death; and
  • The Buddhist concept of mind.

Although my father had a near death experience in 2000, his latest adventure to the “other side” resulted in nothing, no visitors, no father or mother, no friends or shinning light. Thus, how does one have solid “quality of life decisions” with someone who does not entertain (or at least acknowledge) anything greater than a doctor’s flashlight shinning in one’s eye? Strangely, even while I near my own death, I amazed that many become strengthened in religious love upon learning their prognosis.

To that end, I neither preach nor condemn any particular viewpoint. Walking the nursing home, I’ve found countless residents preferring to share beliefs and experiences with someone other than family or a nurse. I find it important all these souls are able to explore and express spiritual needs. In doing so, my form of spiritual care includes:

  • Ensuring their your self worth and dignity are supported;
  • Being offered spiritual care, as they wish; and
  • Having those you want around you when they pass.

Still, there are many days when I believe my Buddhist thoughts and practice and pretty damn weak. But there are several important things I’ve learned. First, encourage loved ones to share feelings, including thanks or forgiveness and give others a chance to say goodbye. Secondly, I wished I learned key life lessons before getting this far in my own world. These life-lessons are listed for us all:

  1. Wish I had the courage to live a true to myself, not the life others expected;
  2. Wish I hadn’t worked so hard;
  3. Wish I had the courage to express my feelings;
  4. Wish I’d let myself be happier.

The real near death experience is of love. Start liv’n in it.

House of Many RoomsThe husband of a dear friend of mine has an aggressive form of cancer. Thus, sometimes our conversations focus’ upon the inevitable trip from cancer to heaven. What’s heaven really like? What’s heaven really all about?

If I had the chance to relive any of those conversations I would say heaven is not so much a destination as it is love.

People whom are closet are the ones who love us deeply. And I know all of us, without exception, could use more time here on earth, but I believe we are very beautiful people; that we are destined to learn how to treat one another better. Once we learn that, we move forward. And the very people we are introduced too are teachers, yet during life we find ourselves both teacher and student.

Life is not about getting an award, getting applause. It’s about contributing to others. I never tire of hearing thoughts of someone’s lessons learned, regardless of how painful they are. Yet I remind everyone that regardless of what lay in heaven, each of us must concentrate on this day, this journey, this moment and this life. We all can plan ahead … but we’re forced to live today.

So I challenge each of you. Do we ever say much that’s nice? Do we ever give others our time, a time of real emotions and love. What do we do for others? When you die, who will attest to your life? And whom will attest to mine?

From a personal viewpoint, others have made some of the finest golden footprints in life. I have little to show. How many times have I uttered, “Hey! I love you.” What have I given to others? What have you given to another?

All of you who read this are all precious and loved. Everything we do matters to someone. But remember, you can’t save everyone. More than likely, God put you here to ‘be present’ in their journey of life, including success, hard times, laughter, sorrow, birth and death.

So to all who’ve seen heaven, “Is it a must see to believe dwelling?” John 14:2 states Christ exclaimed, “In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?” Maybe we need to understand is that the place Jesus prepares is more relationship oriented than a specifically a home. It is these relationships that free us from the selfishness which blocks us from God and each other. God resides within a deep, intimate and abiding relationship. That’s where He wants us to live and love.

We always seem to get lost in the home. And it was never really about the home, i.e., the structure. What makes a home is the loving relationships existing within. I don’t believe Jesus is interested in finding us a building, complete with sofa, stove, toilet and front yard. He wants us to find the specific space in our life to create the same love He has in union with the Father and Holly Spirit.

Borrowing from the Kung Fu series, we are all wanderers in a sometimes-trackless land. Yet all of us can find that which is sought, and more. There’s also something of rare value for the one who shared his journey. Could you risk the loss of such a benefit?

Real heaven is living in Holy Communion with the spirit of love. Why can’t we do this here on earth as it is done in heaven?

proof-of-heaven-232x300Another in a Continuing Series of Letters to a Friend

Dear Ms. J:

I have heard of “Proof of Heaven.” But I prefer the material of Elizabeth KüblerRoss. As a reader, her work seems more relevant than Eben Alexander‘s.

What I think about God and God’s love is that people teach us so much of life. The trick is to be present to each other, listen to each and hear their stories. While I am here to listen you, to give you the love I possibly can, your life and courage has added to my faith.

I consider it an honor and privilege to walk with you on your journey. More importantly, the question I continually ask myself (or secretly to God) is where am I helping you go?

Some inevitably ask why do I run from God? Why have I, who’s seen heaven and Christ himself run from Him? If they knew me, if they really really knew and loved me, they would understand I’m not running from Christ … I’m running toward Him.

In truth, I am a humbled man. And as a humbled man, I can learn a lot. Every encounter, every conversation, every relationship or chance meeting is infused with the opportunity to bless one another. Deep down, we know this, but we get busy, making the dollar, finding love, and figuring out life’s problems.

Many of my nights are filled with voices from the past. I hear their voices from time to time, their reminders and confessions. I pulled out some old military pictures the other day. There within the halls of time’s gone by, I secretly sit in meditation with Christ and relive those moments.

I believe we are all connected – every thought, every word, every deed. Everything has energy that lasts forever. So, I suppose we are either influencing someone in a positive manner, or a negative one.

To that end, regardless of what you may think, I find you are a wonderful person. I believe you’re beloved beyond your wildest imagination! You an honor watch, a Celebration of Life. You seem to love all unconditionally; just the way God loves us!

Having been to heaven myself, I know the only thing we take with us is the love woven into our hearts. Thus the purpose of my letter Tucson is for you …. to never doubt you are here with great purpose.  The proof of heaven lies within us, not what someone says.

Courage To Reach Beyond

Nursing HomeEast of Tucson, Arizona is a retirement and short-term rehabilitation center.  There in room 205, lay father. Ten days ago a perfectly healthy man entered the hospital to have knee replacement.  Ten days later, a man was moved to this short term rehabilitation center have having stopped breathing, a heart attached and severe reaction to OxyContin, as prescribed by the physician.

The rehab center has four main wings. There’s long-term assisted living, a retirement wing, short-term rehabilitation and the disposable. The disposable wing is home to those solitary folks too sick and frail to leave.  On one hand, they have no family, no friends or soul mates. On the other, they await the angel of death. In strange way, they are comrades who abide by regularly scheduled activities and watch people go to and fro, surfing soap operas or sports while awaiting the angel of death.

By its very nature, most shy away, with many rarely venture this wing. There’s good reason: it’s the land God forgot. On face value it’s dreary. Patients come in to this area extremely ill, with such problems as sepsis, pneumonia, cancer and pancreatitis, etc. Only the early morning sunlight creaks the slightly drawn shades. Wheelchairs line the doorways and the air is perfumed with something dissimilar to urine or stool, permeating heavily.

After settling my father in, I ventured into no man’s land.  And by having the courage, I was afforded a wonderful opportunity to revisit history and lives of others.

Twenty steps in, I met Elias, a wonderfully entertaining elderly man who worked much of his life in now defunct Arizona copper mines. After leaving the mines, Elias started a landscaping venture with his “fat overweight son.” Remaining hearty at 62, he reached down to pick up a fifty-pound bag of dirt and snapped his back. Several weeks later, he has two steel rods running parallel to his spine, with steel screws every four inches. Long abandoned by his son, his only visitors are a church pastor and nurses.

After listening Elias, Sammy interrupted with her life. Sammy to friends and Samantha to family was a former dancer, who beautifully danced moved to choirs, orchestras and modern dance. In truth, Sammy was a former exotic dancer who self admittedly said “gravity’s won” but reinvested the cash she made and lives quite comfortably sipping tea as she pleases. She was clear to note that her youthful spirit of life remained alive, even at age 68. In fact ten years ago, Sammy was dancing in her living room while dancing to Springsteen’s “Born to Run.” She performed the split but suffered damage so severe she had two hip replacements.

Aileen is the resident grey tabby cat. And according to 92 year-old socialite, Ms. Spenser, Aileen is a little tramp and much “the to do” has been made over her affair with “Buster Weeds,” that orange tabby living on the other side of the washout adjoining the property.

In my few hours, I Charlie, Sandy, Barbara, Jensen, James, Cindy, Ms. Stemson and Carl.  I learned a little of Tombstone, local history of the Apache, Bisbee, the ghosts of Bisbee, the Copper Queen Mine of Bisbee, the copper mines of Jerome, Buckskin Mountains of west-central Arizona, politics, football and baseball.

For a few hours, history came alive. Each rolled back time and history relived as fresh and beautiful.  Because many of us simply refuse to reach past our own fear, real history is missed and much of history is lost.

Kneeling in the chapel I thanked the world for the courage to reach beyond the fear…to  listen, to laugh and to love. Maybe, I just couldn’t bear to see anyone move to another world without love. I am grateful for this chance to experience the impermanence of life. I am grateful these lives will continue on in me.