How do we register details that most miss and fail to interpret? Seriously? How? I’ve formulated many observations in my 61 years of life. Two are more recent. First, be alive is, in and of itself, a miracle, a statistical miracle. Second, how is it I whizzed past millions of people with hardly a notice for details? I know my successes and losses, but why didn’t I ‘tarry an hour’ with another in dire pain?. And of success? When does any form of ‘tarry’ turn to envy?
“Could you not tarry one hour?” Jesus asked several disciples. “Hey, Unknown Buddhist? Could you not have tarried an hour with this man?” Like many, I would tell Christ that I’m pressed for time and line up excuses often spoken by others. “I have to complete this report.” There’s the, “I have to contact this customer.” And of course, “Jesus Christ (Oops. Sorry.), I have to meet my wife. And as you know, tarrying with her for an hour is equivalent to twelve. Even you (pointing a finger to Heaven) can attest to that.”
I don’t have a deep well. I cannot comprehend being spiritually selfless. My humanity isn’t capable of imagining perpetual service, either receiving or giving. I spend much of these years in silence, mainly because I suck at long-term relationships. I want to say otherwise, but it’s true. I never succeed. My first kiss was with my first wife (Karen Ann). She confided her most powerful secrets and listened with sympathy at my failures. Our failure was in love. I gave until empty. As a result, I remain hindered by pride and professional etiquette that prevents me from revealing the heart or the intrinsic form of love Christ requested.
All of us know there is a profound intrinsic form of agape love in this miracle of life that you and I inhabit. In theory, it’s available to anyone. In principle, I sometimes think it’s only open to the few who can eclipse their own level of pain to grasp it. Such individuals have this innate ability to go beyond their own level of sorrow to somehow touch another’s soul, and thought becomes transparent. Before 2010, I would often tell others of my travels, my encounters with the snobbish, the powerful, and influential. And while many thought highly of endeavors, I rarely corrected any mislaid assumptions. I left little doubt of my elevated status, though having never lied, per se. In truth, I was just a ‘footnote’ in many a life. I never tarried that much. I rarely told anyone my true feelings.
I am not alone in self-deception. Everyone has, at one time or another, pulled a pinch of self-deception from their pocket. Think otherwise? I suggest reviewing your most resume for great works of fiction. Think your resume is perfect? How about dating, taxes, traffic court, or ‘white lies’ told to spouses, children, friends, and employers? In my youth, I willfully filled my resume with ‘artistic interpretation.’ Such ‘artistic interpretations’ remain generously applied. As such, I remained burdened with sadness, regret, and lingering doubt about past actions.
If we claim to be of God, then the way we love one another (John 13:35) is crucial to critical understanding. When we tarry with another, sacrificial love becomes should become so apparent that when others see it, they exclaim, “Wow! That’s the form of leadership I want to be a part of” I am hoping that through the grace of God, we can bring a witness of what Heaven looks like on this side of eternity.