second-comingWhile having lunch with a client, we overheard the luncheon conversation from another table. Discussing an enigma in his life, the patron blurted in great anguish, “God I wish Jesus was here. If He were, everything would be perfect.”

Hmm,” muttered my client. “What a load of crap.

I’m sorry,” I replied in astonishment.

Jesus coming again,” he muttered. “You know, quoting the Bible, “He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and his kingdom will have no end.””

Yeah, what about it.

Well, the Bible does the whole ‘second coming’ thing in a couple of chapters. Sounds pretty damn easy, right?

Yeah, I suppose some say that,” leaning back in my chair.

Too damn easy. Too damn easy.

How so?

Taking a sip of water, “Well, first off, just imagine Christ coming down in a chariot and some nut like Putin shoots a BUK SA-11 missile. God,” he laughed, “I would love to see to what happens next.

Smiling, “That’s an interesting thought.

So Christ gets here, right?

Right,” I confirmed.

Continuing, “So, Christ is going to judge the living and the dead, right?


There’s currently 7 billion living people on earth. Even if He adjudicates everyone’s life in one minute apiece, it would take over 13,000 years to finish.

Never thought of it that way,” I nodded.

Imagine, every living soul gets one minute to state their case … and then ‘pppppiiiiiffffffff’ … done. Pausing for a moment, “And those are just the living. Yes sir,” he smirked with a ‘tonal’ computer voice, “your number is in year 14,072 …. Next?

Have a seat,” I chuckled.

Exactly,” he sighed.

Maybe Christ saves the 2.5 billion identified Christians and just summarily executes the rest. Then the whole process will only take a smidgen over 4,700 years.

Ah,” he pondered. “There’ll be other issues.

Such as?

Think about it,” he explained. “If Christ starts healing the sick, I’ll bet you dollars-to-donuts someone will sue Him for practicing medicine without a license. If He started turning water into wine, the wine conglomerate will sue for restraint of trade while simultaneously requesting an EPA toxicology report. Then He’ll have to mediate the Israel and Hamas Strip problem, Ireland’s Catholic and Protestant battle, ISIS, al-Qaeda, Catholic Priests and a host other nut groups. I guarantee you, some group will be extremely pissed when God doesn’t vote their way. So what’s He gonna do with them? And guess what? Once all the elderly start donating money to Him, the U.S. Government and IRS will sue Christ for violation of tax exempt organization regulations, infamously known as 501(c)3.

That’s quite a list.

There’s also the environmental thing.

You mean global warming?

No. I mean. What happens if people just quit their jobs because He decided to return? Think about it, nuclear reactors and power plants require daily, weekly, monthly care. Otherwise, kablooey! What happens when damns aren’t properly regulated and they fail? What happens to all those churches and jobs supporting evangelical missions, Bible publications and other items? Do children suddenly stop going to school because Christ came back? Does society stop working and wait for Christ to repair everything? What will people do? What will you and I do?

Man,” I said depressingly. “Now that I think about it, those few chapters in Revelations seems to gloss over it.

Yeah,” he said. “What’s that old quote,” as he searched his memory. “Be careful of what you ask for….

You may get it,” finishing his sentence.

Maybe we don’t get Christ until we live like Christ. Maybe we just need to learn to live and love now while we have time,” thoughtfully opined.

Amen to that!