Archive for July, 2012


In the darkened heat soaked July night, company leaders of the firm employing us followed in the footsteps others before. Surrounded by smiling attorneys, venture capitalists, Presidents and Vice Presidents, in a single pen stroke the firm was sold.

Officially, press reports would label this as an ‘acquisition,’ a not too uncommon, but very diplomatic word for ‘taking the cash and running.’  If you’re a Republican or Tea Party proponent, this would be classified as a reward for the risk and simply confirms the natural business lifecycle. If you’re Democratic or an ‘Average Joe,’ one would probably term this as selling out.

Objectively, I bypassed the usual acronyms management poured forth via the conference call. Over the years I have heard enough of the “I’m jazzed,” “…our nation is depending upon us,” “synergy” and “…we honor and respect every employee as family.”

In truth, in the dark covert mahogany laced boardroom, management didn’t give a shit and in a true form of modern slavery, each employee was sold (by rough calculations) for approximately $383,000 per person. Thus, in a single swoop of the pen, before the ink was dry, the top .7% of the company walked away with an excess of $460,000,000. For the remaining 99.3%, we were simply ‘acquired.’

What irks me about today’s politicians and business leaders is that some claim government regulations kill jobs and tax breaks help the wealthy help create positions. Borrowing a phrase from Stephen Covey, I simply agree to disagree agreeably.

While it is true that as leaders, each of you has had a profound influence on upon our lives. But it was the ‘acquired’ who were the face of your company. In dutiful devotion, it was also our blood, sweat and tears that produced that $460 million.

We traveled Sundays, missed weekends, anniversaries, our child’s first steps, bar mitzvah’s, ballgames, summer walks, fishing trips, vacations and poured caffeine into our veins during repeated all-nighters. At one time or another, each of us slept in flea ridden hotels, caught red-flights, spent endless hours in cattle cramped aircraft and fell asleep in airports. Some slept, a few never awoke.

We persevered. In spite of cancer, multiple sclerosis, heart palpations, death of a father, mother, child, fractured legs, laryngitis, chills, fevers, lost fingers, broken arms and minds we carried the mission. Through it all, the 99% experienced divorce, broken relationships, lonely nights, bad meals, excessive heat, torrential cold, floods, blizzards, tornados, hurricanes and car accidents.

The 99% lived and breathed with your clients. We were their hopes, fears, tears, laughter, friend and mentors. It was our responsibility to hold, console and push. We made them a better organization and each of them touched our lives. And they lived, still live, within us.

For better or worse, we are your legacy. We were the harmony, melody, music and soul of your very dreams.

In due time, the ‘acquired’ will eventually become ‘reorganized’ and ultimately ‘retired.’ We will cry, reflect and move on. But still at the end of this life, you may be $460 million dollars wealthier, but you’ll never be richer.

For you see, it was we, the 99% who created the jobs and the wealth. It was never solely about you. And thankfully, it never will.

Peace activist Desmond Tutu has urged South Africans to celebrate Nelson Mandela’s 94th birthday by following his unifying example of tolerance that brought together a divided country.

The greatest gift our nation could possibly give ‘uTata’ (father) Nelson Mandela for his 94th birthday this week would be to emulate his magnanimity and grace.

As I watched Archbishop Tutu, I reflected of a question recently asked of me, “Which famous world leader would I love to have dinner?”  Well, I once shared a wonderful conversation with the late Stephen Covey on a coast-to-coast flight, met Bobby Knight and Astronaut Gary Lovell. I shook hands with Wayne Dyer, met former Prime Minister Tony Blair, and few Hollywood actors crossed my path. I once had dinner with Kelly Hu and marveled at the James Bond movie in production down the street from my residence.

Still, whom would I love to have dinner with? ‘Nelson Mandela.’

I chose Mandela not because my own personal journey has found me retracing the anti-Apartheid steps in Soweto, suffering tears at ‘Ground Zero,’ holding the hands of tsunami victims passing from this world and writing letters to families of those I supported in Africa and South America. But paraphrasing former President Clinton, “He may have been President of South African, but he always was human first.” Honest and sincere.

And that’s the lesson for us all: be human first. It’s been said Christ became human and sincere. Buddha overflowed with love and compassion. Dr. Martin Luther King was filled with humanity and forgiveness.  Each of these leaders embodied the true spirit of living: giving to one another in a fulfilling, compassionate and humane way.

And while human beings advanced significantly on the evolutionary ladder, many leaders, business, professional and otherwise really seem to lack positive traits.  From a political perspective, Syrian President Bashar Hafez al-Assad classically fits this model. In business, a “pervasively polluted” culture at HSBC allowed the bank to act as financier to clients moving shadowy funds from the world’s most dangerous and secretive corners, including Mexico, Iran, Saudi Arabia and Syria. And of course many, many religious leaders have to my utter contempt list.

But as a society, there should be a way that honestly differentiates things we are proud of and things we are ashamed. These should be humane qualities, the very nature of which that should be cherished. We should be able to develop our mind and enable our thinking that leads this world to a better future.

Picking up from Mandela, there are things we all can do. Each of us has a kinetic power to be kind and compassionate, ensuring our actions don’t detrimentally hurt another. All of us, including me, have made mistakes. But we can strive to be of service, be mindful in understanding, showing kindness, honesty and humility. These are the worthy human values we should be proud to acquire.

President Clinton said, “We worked together as presidents and even after we left office we continued working together to improve education of the children worldwide in order for them to share the future.”  Yeah Clinton had his faults. I won’t argue that here in this forum. But more importantly, true humanity always serves, is always humble and always in love.

And by acquiring these values, we become very Christ like, Buddha , very holy.

Happy Birthday Mr. Mandela.

Chicago Cubs: 12 of 16?

“Will the lady who left her nine kids at Wrigley Field please pick them up? They’re beating the Cubs 4-1 in the bottom of the seventh.”

~VA_GoGoSox~

——————————–

While I was out of town, some form crazy of time warp occurred:  Cubs won 12 of the last 16 games.  Yes! Allow me to repeat that: The Cubs won 12 of the last 16 games.

In my lifetime, the mid-season All-Star game was a fond time where my father and I reviewed the first half misery.  Almost always, the Cubs were like 66 ½ games from first. They were so far out, they didn’t even play anymore: they hired a group of Charlie Brown lookalikes to don the field and receive the daily whupp’n.

Still, 2012 … mid-season, post All-Star and what do we see?  Cubs … win 12 of 16. But alas great dreamers and love of life, God’s blessing is cruel … 12 of 16 and they’re still 13½ games behind Cincinnati. I guarantee there’s some unemployed ‘Dreamer in the Bleachers’ mathematically counting the potentially dramatic comeback. Ah … Yes! Yes! Leaning back onto the screen overlooking Waveland Avenue, he sips his Bud, chucks a small portion of Vienna Dog’ to the unofficial Chicago Bird (Pigeon) and cracks a tear as he looks upward unto the Baseball God’s and prays:

“My team which plays in Wrigley,
 Hallowed be thy field.”

Ah ye of stupid faith. The Cubs will never get within five (5) games of first place.  When they get to six (6) games, they will become a car that not even Tom and Ray Magliozzi ‘Click and Clack’ could fix.  Mimicking an old fart car, let’s say an old Olds 98 with 457,869 miles emitting noise from the front end while driving uphill on even days, in straight sunshine and a half a six-pack in the back as weight. They become the little trans that couldn’t.

So being the Buddhist I am, it is imperative to be patient all ye Cub fans.  Meditate in the moment and repeat the ‘Oṃ maṇi padme hūṃ.’

If the Cubs actually make the playoffs, I will eat nine (9) Vienna Beef Chicago-style dogs in one sitting … one for each member of the starting lineup.

But won’t happen … Or could it?  Oh God, Thou can be so cruel.

American Airline – Seat 27 A

As a frequent traveler, I have come across many instances where my Buddhist training left me unprepared.  Of course one may heard of Buddhist monk who opened the emergency exit of an airplane just prior to take off for some fresh air. Also, Buddhist Monk Kenki Sato will saddle up for London 2012, s he’ll be representing Japan in the Olympics. And the biggest: Forbes reporter Clare O’Conner discovered a Buddhist monk is behind the 5 Hour energy drink phenomenon that has a 90%-near monopoly of the energy shot market.

Still, for this Buddhist, traveling represents some of the most trying experiences for those seeking true patience.  For instance, Friday the 13th, I spent approximately three (3) hours in an American Airline plane awaiting gate clearance at Chicago – Ohare International Airport. Upon departure, I spent another two hours in a different American Airline plane.

As flights were delayed at both O’Hare following sudden thunderstorms, I spent much of the time listening to music and reminding myself of living in the moment.  But I have to tell you, living on a stuck plane for nearly five (5) hours total tests any traveler’s patience.  If personally believe that even if the Saints had patience, one of them would have killed for it.

Imagine sitting on a completely full flight, in one position, looking straight ahead … for five (5) hours. Can’t speed up, can’t turn left and can’t turn right.  But the kudigraw goes to the woman in seat ‘27 A’ (meaning right behind me) who whips out her iPhone and proceeds to discuss her menstrual flow with her daughter.  Seriously, if I had a gun, I would have shot her … or maybe myself or both of us.

I know … I know … maybe she didn’t think her conversations traveled that far, but in fricking packed plane, waiting several hours, the ripple of anything other than flight crew is going receive fine tuning by any and all passengers. After a few minutes, I wanted to turn around and query:

“Is there any reason why I must be part of this conversation?”

In the span of ten years of travel, I have heard some strange stuff: from the time a passenger called his wife via an inflight phone to say he was calling inflight on an inflight phone. What the hell is it with these people? And why do airlines allow us (i.e., the nutso passengers) to board the plane with cell phones? So think about it, TSA, in some cases, will go so far as to not let you bring a bottle of water on a plane, but they’ll let you bring a cell phone that can potentially disrupt navigation systems?

That thought reminds me of the scene from The West Wing, Season One “Pilot:”

The shades are drawn and many of the passengers are sleeping, except TOBY

ZIEGLER, who is busy typing on his laptop.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 1:

“We ask at this time that you turn off all electronic devices, stow your tray tables and return your setbacks to the full and upright position. We will be landing shortly at Washington-Dulles Airport.”

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2

[approaches Toby] “Sir, I need you to turn off your computer.”

TOBY ZIEGLER

“I’m just about done.”

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2

“I need you to turn off your laptop, sir. It interferes with our navigational systems.”

TOBY

“You know when you guys say that, it sounds ridiculous to most people, right?”

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2

“Sir…”

Another Flight Attendant approaches.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 3

“Mr. Ziegler? A message was just patched up to the cockpit for you. I’m not sure I’ve got it right. POTUS in a bicycle accident?”

TOBY

[stops typing and looks up] “You got it right.” [reaches for his cell phone]

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2

“You can’t use your phone until we land, sir.”

TOBY

“We’re flying in a Lockheed eagle series L-1011. It came off the line 20 months ago and carries a Sim-5 Transponder tracking system. Are you telling me I can still flummox this thing with something I bought at Radio Shack?”

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2

“You can call when we land, sir.”

TOBY

[calling as she walks away] “Also, I never got my peanuts.”

Sorry to say, there’s no magic answers when dealing with all this crap. Accept it – that some days being in the ‘moment,’ require some extra assistance. Recently I acquired a set of Westone 4r earphones. So when faced with the biggest challenges, sometimes it’s simply easier to pull out my ‘Westie 4s’ and drown out the world with some peaceful music.

Peace to all … even to the lady in seat ‘27 A.’

At various moments throughout each day, I am able to catch the news. Yet sitting in an upstate Pennsylvania restaurant, I grimaced while watching Penn State Trustees respond to Louis Freeh’s report.

I literally shuddered listening to Freeh’s comments, “The most powerful men at Penn State failed to take any steps for 14 years to protect the children who Sandusky victimized,” he said. “Messrs. Spanier, Schultz, Paterno and Curley never demonstrated, through actions or words, any concern for the safety and well-being of Sandusky’s victims …”

Being the people at the top, Chair Karen Peetz, Penn State president Rodney Erickson and board member Kenneth Frazier faced 70 reporters, photographers, and TV cameramen in an honorable, but flailing attempt to ensure “an event like this never happens again in our university” and implementing a series of reforms.

And that’s always the caveat, implementing reforms. Our failures to properly regulate, causes tremendous pain. Need examples? Ok, here are a few:

  • Bob Diamond of Barclays (BCS) was the latest CEO of an international bank to be hauled before a government body to explain and atone for the sins of employees.
  • JPMorgan Chase & Co sacrificed investment chief Ina Drew in response to trading losses reaching $3 billion.
  • In 2010, Hewlett-Packard’s CEO Mark Hurd resigned after an investigation found he had an improper personal relationship.
  • Ousting of CEO Bill Johnson after one day on the job at an estimated cost of $44 million isn’t going to help.
  • Gary Foster, a former vice president of Citigroup’s internal treasury finance unit embezzled $19 million from various accounts Citi accounts and into his personal JPMorgan Chase account. (I hope Ina Drew sucked it dry).
  • Rita Crundwell, who handled all of the Dixon, Illinois city finances, embezzled a staggering $30 million in city funds.
  •  Shawn Thomas Whiting, a former Boy Scout leader from Taylorsville, Utah, has been ordered to spend one to 15 years in prison for child pornography.
  • Juan Antonio Rosa, 36, was sentenced to almost 22 years in prison for distributing child pornography to Wendy’s customers with their food.

And if you watched any of the news conferences, the replacements always talk ‘reform.’ In fact they talk so much about reform that the very word now means very little. We as leaders must remember that any control or reform we do … or don’t do … is simply easy news fodder. You will be checked, balanced, measured or critiqued. There are just too many computer software forensic tools to publicly state how fricking stupid you are and claim unaccountability. If you’re the guy at the top, whether good or bad, you’re a public dart board.

When caught in a ‘What the Frick” (otherwise known as WTF) moment, the moral failing is that we care more about reputation and honor than failures and victims. Sadly, it’s within the crossroads of pain and public introspection that convoluted personal value meets humility. And we all suffer greatly.

From the very beginning, all who entered the Penn State mess, auditor and leader alike had to willingly swallow the untenable truth: the very leaders entrusted to fight for the people who couldn’t fight for themselves allowed Sandusky to prowl. As I listened to recaps of Mr. Freeh and the Penn State Trustee news conference I am saddened at all the pain everyone had to endure. For those who suffered by the willingly disregard of human worth, either by prior or current Penn State employees, the pain these leaders suffered is miniscule.

To all leaders, we must remember to protect those to which we are entrusted. We are supposed to fight for all children.

Is it possible to really step back from the entitlement and selfishness? Imagine if we implemented all the proper controls from the beginning?

There would be no ‘reforms’ and a whole lot less pain.

————— Post Script —————

Botched trades by a JPMorgan Chase & Co. (JPM), that Jamie Dimon pushed to boost profit, were masked by weak internal controls and may ultimately saddle the bank with a $7.5 billion loss. During a July 13, 2012 earnings call indicated Dimon brushed off concerns raised by some of his most senior advisers, including heads of JPMorgan’s investment bank, about the lack of transparency and the quality of internal controls in the CIO in past years.

The company also said it would restate its first-quarter earnings because it was no longer confident that the company’s traders had fairly valued positions within the office that handled the controversial trades.

Throughout the call, Mr. Dimon told analysts that the company has strengthened its risks controls to stave off further losses.

Update: State of Faith But Little Works

A federal judge on Wednesday decided to continue to block a state law that threatened to shut down Mississippi’s only abortion clinic and make it nearly impossible for a woman to get the procedure in the state (see original post).

As you may recall, Mississippi state government said the privileges help protect patients by ensuring they have continuity of care if a woman needs to go to the hospital. They also note that while the clinic might have to wait to get hospital privileges, “inconvenience is not `irreparable harm.'”

Speaking on CNN’s Starting Point, Representative Mims noted, “We do believe this is a health care issue for women” and further indicated the law it’s designed to protect women’s health by ensuring continuous care in cases where the procedure goes terribly wrong.

From a 50,000 mile viewpoint, Representative Mims’ thought process almost sounds logical.  That is until one reviews other doctors who perform serious procedures in the office.

Let’s take one example: chiropractors. According Manta.com, there are 313 Offices and Clinics of Chiropractors in Mississippi. Whatstheharm.net has documented 312 people around the world who have suffered, injury, stroke or death from an improper neck adjustment.

So my question to Mr. Mims, Mississippi legislature and others who truly pursue this Mississippi law on the grounds of a healthcare issue, “Are chiropractors required to be certified with admission privileges at local hospitals?”

How about other doctors who provide and perform other services, which can go so wrong?

When one digs deeper than the 50,000-foot mark, Mississippi is continually rated one of the worst in healthcare.  And they still are today.

Virgin Mary in A Field? Doubtful!

A Croatian woman says she sees the Virgin Mary on a daily basis. In doing so she drew a whole lot of people to a small Alabama town, with many of them traveling long distances to be near the self-proclaimed visionary. The fact that Roman Catholic leaders have discredited private visions has not stopped 60 volunteers at Caritas of Birmingham from working year-round to organize pilgrimages to Medjugorje in Croatia and running an extensive religious printing operation.

While I do believe there are times when Christ or the Virgin Mary may appear in response to a private prayer, I do not believe that one should continue draw the masses for such personal visions.  By doing so, this Croatian woman reminds me of a lot of Benny Hinn.

Dateline NBC reported in December 2002 that Benny Hinn has been scamming people for their money, falsely claiming healing that cannot be proved.  Mr. Hinn was asked to provide medical proof of the miracles he and his follower claim to be experiencing, but to date not one shred of definitive evidence has been provided. Still Mr. Hinn’s continues to draw millions of followers.

 In truth, many claim to have seen Jesus or the Virgin Mary.

Diane Duyser of Florida claimed her grilled cheese sandwich had the image of the Virgin Mary. Duyser claimed her sandwich had mystical power and actually helped her $70,000 at a nearby casino. Apparently in accordance to proper Christian ethics, she put that puppy (i.e, sandwich) up for sale on eBay and received $28,000.  Jesus once appeared on a dumpling. And of course, wanting to spread the passion of Christ, the owner sold it on eBay, receiving $1,775.

Jesus has also been known to show up on a Walmart receipt, an MRI, an iron, cat’s fur, in a bag of Cheetos and a frying pan. Likewise, the Virgin Mary has popped up on windows, the African sky and on top of a Coptic Orthodox Church in Egypt – for two years, etc., etc., etc.

From a scam perspective, all I can say is, “Don’t believe these people.”  Why?  Because on the second day of the Croatian’s Alabama visit, she announced the Virgin would appear at 6:40 p.m. As about 2,500 people gathered to pray in a field decorated with a statue of Mary, each prayed the rosary. The Croatian entered the room, prayed aloud, fell silent, moved her lips and looked upward. In end, the Croatian said, “She blesses you all.” That’s sort of like saying, “Thanks for coming folks and have a good trip back.”

Seriously, give me a frick’n break. Hell, I could do that.  I could even cook a cheese sandwich, wave it over your head and say, “Alleluia!”  From my perspective, it’s no different than what Hinn or this woman provided.

In truth, if you want to find Christ, follow his commands (Mathew 6:6), “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

Truly, God will probably not bless you because of a burnt cheese sandwich, a dumpling or Walmart receipt. God is more readily to be found in an intimate heart-filled conversation of prayer and love, between Father and child.

It is the intimacy that a door unto another world opens. This interaction is so dynamic that not even a Croatian woman in a field will ever fulfill.

Marina Abramovic: True Agape Love

Last night I watched a little known documentary: “The Artist Is Present.”

“The Artist Is Present,” is a 2010 retrospective of work by the artist Marina Abramovic performed at the Museum of Modern Art in New York.

Let me start by saying this documentary is not a critical review of Ms. Abramovic’s life. Except for a brief Fox News clip, there were no dissenting views. Rather, the film gave me a view so riveting that it wasn’t until my meditation this morning that I began to fully  comprehend why hundreds of thousands lined up at the MoMA.

In a meditative marathon, she quietly locked eyes with patrons, seared past the veneer and reached deep into any soul willing to offer a view. Over the course of several months, the amount of emotional energy exchanged, face to face one at a time, was immense. The case clearly made through the captivated and crying museumgoers.

According to Ms. Abramovic, “Through performance, I found the possibility of establishing a dialogue with the audience through an exchange of energy, which tended to transform the energy itself. I could not produce a single work without the presence of the audience, because the audience gave me the energy to be able, through a specific action, to assimilate it and return it, to create a genuine field of energy.”

From both a Buddhist and Christian perspective, it is this energy, this chi that made the movie and the experience. After watching this film, I now understand why great leaders such as Christ, Buddha, Gandhi, Dr. Martin Luther King and others were so effective at change. Each one of them was able to peel back the outer soul and see the humanity of another. There, in those powerfully brief moments, artist and patron became one, exchanged clemency and compassion.

Friends, this type of exchange, this compassion, is what Christ was all about. This level of love is what Buddha sought. Imagine if we could go home tonight and experience this type of deep dialogue with our spouse? What if one could tap into the pinnacle of Buddha, look into your child’s eye, and provide such profound compassion?

The depth found in this level of agape love lasts forever. And to paraphrase Christ (Matthew 28:20), it is the kind that ‘… is with you always, even unto the end of the age.”

Truly do that … in memory of Him.

The Fulcrum You Want to Be

The nuclear crisis at the Fukushima Daiichi power plant in Japan was a “man-made disaster” that unfolded as a result of collusion between the facility’s operator, regulators and the government, an independent panel said in an unusually frank report Thursday.

The Fukushima Nuclear Accident Independent Investigation Commission outlined errors and willful negligence at the plant before the earthquake and tsunami that devastated swaths of northeastern Japan on March 11 last year, and a flawed response in the hours, days and weeks that followed. It also offers recommendations and encourages the nation’s parliament to “thoroughly debate and deliberate” the suggestions.

From a high-level perspective, most major disasters were man-made. For example, the ‘Great Recession’ was predominately man-made. And the very leaders who wrecked the world economy seem oblivious to the idea they may not be the best people to rebuild it. Obviously the Gulf Oil Spill would certainly be classified as man-made. Hurricane Katrina was more of a dual problem. Mind you, we are talking about the whole event: the natural disaster that was the hurricane and the various problems, those being man-made, and the government response that exacerbated the problems. And many, albeit a somewhat difficult argument, is the Iraqi War. Some consider that war, as well as, all those causalities (both American and otherwise) a huge made-made disaster.

Many years ago a military strategist made a strikingly observant comment, “As a national, we are great at blowing things up. But we seem incapable of rebuilding anything.”  The comment was not made in reference to say rebuilding the World Trade Center, it was critical observation of our capacity to rebuild an economy or nation.

And that is the crux of the argument: for most of us; we simply stink at building and rebuilding. We are unable to build quality relationships, unable to steer a nation out of debt, unable to reach across faith centered morals and help anyone, let alone someone specific in need.

I recently found a great quote, “Sometimes you must hurt to in order to know, fall in order to grow, lose in order to gain, because most of life’s greatest lessons are learned through pain.” Yes, it’s certainly a crazy world out there and there is no one single magic bullet. And true, we can learn many things via pain. But must we always continually have to repeat this process?

From my perspective, we live in a time of overwhelming righteous fury. Thus, I like most, have spent a significant amount of time on the fury versus transforming relationships lost to arguments or personal agendas. Instead, I now choose to identify from my where my emotions originate. I meditate with them and then choose to challenge the thoughts exacerbating them. By simply doing these things, I have found a way to significantly move from man-made disasters to rebuilding.

Life does not have to work through indecision. Indecision promotes blocks, confusion and stress. By working together, regardless of our righteousness, we can allow life to find movement through us. And by being a focal point of movement, we can then rebuild versus destroy.

Trust yourself to become the fulcrum you want to be.

Baseball Superstitions

As few would guess, I solely watch the Cubs only to see how they will lose.  But as a Buddhist, even living in that moment, I felt much of the game, even much of baseball as a whole, pretty damn boring.  Thus, in being proactive, I found other things by which to keep me entertained.

First thing I counted was the number of professional baseball players wearing either a Phiten rope or a whole lot of gold chains. Phiten claims to “stabilize your electric current inside the body” by “allowing the flow of energy.” If there was ever a market for absurd, there it is. But professional baseball payers are a superstitious bunch. And God knows, if they get something down pat and win, then they’ll perform that pre-game, post-game routine every day.

From what I have read over the years, baseball has many Monk wannabe’s. Many baseball players believe it’s bad luck to step on the foul line when running onto the field. My only thought there would be thank God they don’t play football. Others practice the same routine of tapping their bat a specific number of times on home plate when they come up to hit. Outfielder Moises Alou believed the best way to fix calluses was by peeing on them.

Also, the amount of jewelry some baseball players wear is unbelievable. Seriously dude, if the National Weather Service issues a Severe Thunderstorm warning, “I ain’t standn’ next to you.” That load of jewelry is nothing more than positive ground. And if you’re a baseball player who cannot understand that, I’m not explaining it. Google it!

Last summer I attended a minor league game, seating near the dugout. One of the players complained to another player how he needed to gain speed. My first thought was to tell him to drop the three pounds crap around his neck, but valiantly, I remained silent. And if you’re a baseball player who cannot understand the concept of weight and drag, I’m not explaining it. Google it!

Remember these players are our idols. Thus, the satirist within exclaims what’s good for baseball is good for the office.  I mean what better way to make the boss’ report disappear than by peeing on it. If we honor Wade Boggs, every project manager should eat an entire fried chicken before work. If we mimic Turk Wendell, then each of us should brush our teeth after every meeting. And while Kevin Rhomberg was obsessed by having to touch a person back if they touched him, we should honor him by touching everyone at work. (Some may call that sexist, but I’m noting going there).

Oh Lord, I can feel the love.

From Buddhist perspective, do not get carried away by superstition. Do not believe in deeds; rather aspire to results through personal effort in a rational way. By doing so, you will not be excited by wildly rumored superstition, talismans or lucky charms as they do not produce results. Remember faith can move mountains, but it’s only via practice can one actually hit a 93 mile per hour fast ball.