“Will the lady who left her nine kids at Wrigley Field please pick them up? They’re beating the Cubs 4-1 in the bottom of the seventh.”



While I was out of town, some form crazy of time warp occurred:  Cubs won 12 of the last 16 games.  Yes! Allow me to repeat that: The Cubs won 12 of the last 16 games.

In my lifetime, the mid-season All-Star game was a fond time where my father and I reviewed the first half misery.  Almost always, the Cubs were like 66 ½ games from first. They were so far out, they didn’t even play anymore: they hired a group of Charlie Brown lookalikes to don the field and receive the daily whupp’n.

Still, 2012 … mid-season, post All-Star and what do we see?  Cubs … win 12 of 16. But alas great dreamers and love of life, God’s blessing is cruel … 12 of 16 and they’re still 13½ games behind Cincinnati. I guarantee there’s some unemployed ‘Dreamer in the Bleachers’ mathematically counting the potentially dramatic comeback. Ah … Yes! Yes! Leaning back onto the screen overlooking Waveland Avenue, he sips his Bud, chucks a small portion of Vienna Dog’ to the unofficial Chicago Bird (Pigeon) and cracks a tear as he looks upward unto the Baseball God’s and prays:

“My team which plays in Wrigley,
 Hallowed be thy field.”

Ah ye of stupid faith. The Cubs will never get within five (5) games of first place.  When they get to six (6) games, they will become a car that not even Tom and Ray Magliozzi ‘Click and Clack’ could fix.  Mimicking an old fart car, let’s say an old Olds 98 with 457,869 miles emitting noise from the front end while driving uphill on even days, in straight sunshine and a half a six-pack in the back as weight. They become the little trans that couldn’t.

So being the Buddhist I am, it is imperative to be patient all ye Cub fans.  Meditate in the moment and repeat the ‘Oṃ maṇi padme hūṃ.’

If the Cubs actually make the playoffs, I will eat nine (9) Vienna Beef Chicago-style dogs in one sitting … one for each member of the starting lineup.

But won’t happen … Or could it?  Oh God, Thou can be so cruel.