As I sit at the Marriott Hotel at the Houston International Airport, I stumbled across some of the old email letters written to a friend. After reliving their words, I realized that over the last 68,688,000 seconds since I left saw her, I have traveled far. Yet through all the turmoil of my own mistakes and apologies for my failures, I now fully understand the consequences of my own actions. In short…I got it.
Prior to being fired several years ago, my position was simply performing a duty as requested. To others, I breached everything I wanted to be. I incorrectly considered it my job, just another intra-departmental fight. Data was needed and collected. And in the end I forever wasted the chance to walk, heal the wounds and console the potential of everything given.
I do believe most of my friends have seen my futility and figured much of my potential was wasted. At the end of the day, I believe nature allows special friends to come together at a point in life where each of us needed friendship and love the most. And through the years I have been gone, that friendship still touches me very deeply.
For some of us, having that special friend brings one to a deeper level of God’s love no other could. And through that friendship, our personal core identity conforms more and more to the God we honor.
Most friends see us better than we see ourselves. Still, I am quite surprised to discover the many conflicting perspectives within me. Personally, I have nothing left and am unworthy to request compassion. Yet, via the Buddha, I search for and receive the grace to conclude this in love.
As a Buddhist, I honor all. Yet to this day, I honor and think of her at great lengths. For all who lost such a friend, please remember them still, not with the ending, but in love, dignity and honor. You have a gift of astute conviction and penetrating power. This power is why you still walk in their heart each and every day.
My love for her lives and will always move forward with me. I hope each of you find the same.