Sometimes, the focus on what we have or don’t have is mentally exhausting. We all are in a much bigger and riskier battle. All the business goals, mission statements, positive thinking, bonus mileage and positional status mean nothing. I am horrified by the fact that many are in this “cold,” unfamiliar clearing of dark wood, facing a stubborn, unrelenting enemy – the life we call our own. In the middle of the night, in the solitude of darkness, we awake and see my life as we made it, complete with all its mistakes, pain and agony. I see the trunks of an unknown forest and it scares the hell out of me.

And it is here we battle, where no other man can enter and where we feel wholly alone. Thus, when all the cash is counted, the dollars, the cents, the credits, the debits of one’s life – it all means nothing. This battle is brutal and it’s our psyche that’s on the line. And of course I will over-simplify, while continually worries about retirement savings, nest egg, relationship conversation are equally true, I am simply am trying to wake up tomorrow without having lost my mind. For the first time in my life, as I write, I completely understand the battle.

As a Buddhist, if there is one thing I have learned, it’s that despite everything one achieves, life refuses to grant immunity from its difficulties. I am rest assured of my blessings, but I began this journey on the east coast and now find myself on the west coast. This is the place God called me to, there is no other place or time. I will never see success as “here.” I must admit that what I see on the road is my creation and I must grieve for all I have wasted. When the grieving process is done, only then can we possibility walk onward.

We enter these waters to be reborn. And truly, I have no idea what my psyche will be like after the walk, but I am reborn along the banks of life’s river. But nonetheless, we are continually reborn, if only we drink from the water.