Tag Archive: Compassion


Pakistan Islamists: Living In Ignorrance

Filed under: Faith & Doubt, Life Lessons, Religion, Social Justice
December 16, 2014

Balti_childrenI intended to write something different, but couldn’t muster the words. Listening to the British Broadcasting Company report upon the deaths of so many children in Peshawar, Pakistan and watch the video, I can honestly report, the scene was horrifying. Gunmen shoot children as they cowered.

There’s no insight into what to do in these situations. So I come back here to write. A few who know that I’m the Unknown Buddhist asked, “What are you going to write? What are you going to say?“

What this whole thing is really about is the difference between ignorance and hope. Having traveled though so many countries, I’ve never taken my life in the United States for granted. Still, we who inhabit this island earth continue to judge one another by the content of character. We ignorantly stand before the masses and proclaim, “… my way or the highway.” I know there are wonderfully beautiful Islamic men and women. But tonight … for this moment … The Taliban and your version of Islamic faith is utterly repugnant.

Your version of Islamic faith lives in turmoil. And it’s unsustainable.

To terrorists who killed so many, tonight I celebrate real faith, real love and real dignity. I find a tremendous depth of inspiration from Karen, whom I’ve loved deeply, and briefly, shared my life. She’s out there everyday, trying to save children. This type of love comes believing in something better of humanity than most dare. Her spirit is one breath, in unison with faith, and she crushes anything an Islamic could offer tonight.

True love exceeds anything offered a million times over. Agape love continues for years and remains undiminished. Just as Karen would die for a child, I’d sacrifice my life for her. I chose not to destroy, but submit to another in love professes my soul in faith to Christ, to Buddha and enhances life.

Real love dazzles. Your’s doesn’t. The sweet taste of love is beautiful and appreciative. I bathe in the love that surrounds me. You swim in hatred. You feel superior. True love is superior to all.  You abhor. I admire! You’re ignorant. I’m not.

It’s our children that illuminates, warms, and revives.

Islam is not a monopoly of truth. There is neither a race nor a people, who have not been blessed with the bounty of divine guidance, and there is neither a region of earth nor people who have not received prophets and Messengers of God. We do not verify the truth of religious revelations through violence or death.

True love fulfills all human needs. And no other teaching is required.

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CIA Torture and Forgiveness

Filed under: Do No Harm, Life Lessons, Social Justice
December 9, 2014

cia-torture-report-carousel-20140805A summary report released Tuesday of the Senate’s investigation into CIA torture, is a portrait of immorality that’s hard to comprehend.

Of course there are defenders. There are those who claim releasing such information will do more harm than good. Sean Hannity quipped as much:

“Our own intelligence community has assessed that this will cause violence and deaths.”

Likewise, House Intelligence Chairman Mike J. Rogers said the release of the CIA’s interrogation techniques will be used by terrorists to incite violence.

Like those passing a point in history, one could say the evidence of extreme brutality and lawlessness demands accountability, both as a moral and a national security imperative. However, in today’s world, there’s no appetite for holding anyone accountable. It’s almost impossible to interview any of the tortured prisoners. Dick Cheney, President Bush or Donald Rumsfeld (i.e., Chief of War) will neither see a Senate subcommittee, a trial nor a nun with a ruler.

How would I know? Well, for years in worked in the government. And like New York Times Op-Ed Contributor Eric Fair, I too look into blank faces. And I realize I could let myself feel a powerful sense of relief, for my crimes of some 30 years ago will fade. My transgressions will be forgotten. Unfortunately, I live with the faces of those whom I’ve lied, cheated and stole.

For service members in my job set, military bells toll loudly and requires much. Those bells require your soul. At first the bell percolates through your veins as you sell your body and your life. Thirty years later, your knees are shot, eye sight sucks and your heart slowly beats to a stop.

I can see my past, present and future, so I understand how I became the man I am. Born poor and friendless, I made his way through the world with tenacity. But as I focused upon my job, the rest of my life, my ethics and morale fell to the wayside.  In particular, my covetousness cost me the love of my life.

Deep inside, I’m scared. I’m alone. I’ve never been able to shake the faces. They remain vigilent, ever present. Always. Thus, I never absorbed the world surrounding me. And until Ms. K, I rarely understood the joy in it.

As Buddhist, I argue violence is incompatible with Buddhism’s message of peace. So as I move toward my next life, I ask each of you to cultivate compassion, respect, and reverence for all life. I understand the unfortunate necessity of military action despite its negative karmic consequences. A righteous war may have merit. Yet in the early morning hours, when others dream, I speak their names. I see their faces. I hear the terror.

Death in the name of national security, without a fair trial or any other mechanism still counts. God sees it. The witnesses of truth comes from the deceased.

Non-conditional forgiveness is something like a ‘gift’ from the God.  Therefore forgiveness has to be attached with ‘repentance and transformation.’ Thus, real transformation must take place in many spheres: ‘law, history, politics, and existence itself.’ Therefore, the challenge is to create conditions for forgiveness. As a nation, we must progress and prepare to forgive and ask for forgiveness. In both our world, as in life, our most daunting political challenge is to create a discourse of forgiveness that takes as long as required. This form of communication, those loving exchanges of the heart, between people would benefit all.

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Death With Dignity

Filed under: Faith & Doubt, Life Lessons, Religion
November 5, 2014

NTNH-F1It’s hard to imagine anyone slicing America’s consciousness like Brittany Maynard. Barely 29 years old, one can ‘Google’ Maynard’s photos: the wedding, boating and rock climbing. It’s hard to picture this young, vibrant woman as ‘terminal.’ Yet Ms. Maynard voluntarily ended her life, effectively choosing a ‘death with dignity,’

Those against the ‘death with dignity movement’ argue only God can decide when death occurs. However, being a former medic, if one seeks medical care throughout life, one directly or indirectly makes choices about life itself. In effect, God does not actually make all the choices, we all do. If one drives too fast, drinks too much, smokes too much, eats too much or fails to receive proper vaccinations, then one impacts how soon the Angel of Death arrives. To see God working through respirators, kidney dialysis and heart-lung machines and assorted other devices trivializes both life and God.

In a Religion News article, Joni Eareckson Tada penned the following:

“If I could spend a few moments with Brittany before she swallows that prescription she has already filled, I would tell her how I have felt the love of Jesus strengthen and comfort me through my own cancer, chronic pain and quadriplegia. I would tell her that the saddest thing of all would be for her to wake up on the other side of her tombstone only to face a grim, joyless existence not only without life, but without God.”

Bishop Ignacio Carrasco de Paula, who heads the Vatican’s Pontifical Academy for Life called Maynard’s actions “wicked.”

“We do not judge the individuals but the act itself is to be condemned. This woman did this thinking she could die with dignity. But this is where the error lies: to commit suicide is not a good thing, it is a wicked thing because it is saying no both to one’s own life and to everything which signifies respect for our mission in this world and towards those closest to us.“

God is probably not as repulsed as the Ignorant Tight-Ass Club (see West Wing: Midterms). Once Maynard became accepting of her life’s end, physical death became irrelevant. She accepted her own death as though it had occurred, and so fear of the actual moment when her heart stops ceased to exist.

Having walked the corridors of many hospitals, when terminally ill patients accept death without fear, they become free. They move onward in peace.

Still, the anti-death with dignity movement rarely understands the personal psyche of the decision. Their belief is etched in a foundational training that God and Christ’s faith is wonderful. From a Biblical perspective, writers really glossed over death. Genesis 5:4 quotes, “… Adam lived 800 years and had other sons and daughters.” The Bible doesn’t articulate the quality of Adam’s last 100 years. What if Adam drooled from his mouth, got up at all times of the night, exposed himself to anyone around and couldn’t urinate on his own?

Another example? Genesis 5:8. ‘… Seth lived a total of 912 years, and then he died.” Did Seth really just live 912 years and then just die? What if Biblical writers neglected to mention Seth had diabetes; had to have any limbs amputated, needed help bathing, couldn’t see anything for the last ten years, couldn’t remember loved ones, couldn’t dress or had to eat mashed food because he lost all his teeth? What would we say then?

God does not expect us to be perfect. Diseases attack both mentally and physically. Caring for a loved one with terminal disease is extremely difficult, with caregivers burdened by doubt and guilt; stressed and struggling to balance compassion against hopelessness. God provides few if any perfect answers. All we can do is to do our best to provide the best quality of life we can.

As a Buddhist, I judge neither Maynard nor others, for most fail to grasp that ‘everyone’ dies eventually – mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, children, ourselves. We impulsively string our loved to technology all the while believe this is God’s will. Extending life in such a manner flies in the face of reality, yet we often feel we must.

I do not fear death, neither do I seek it either. But I’ll welcome it when it comes. Death is as important as life, it validates all that we do during our life times, without an end, the journey is without significance.

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Ferguson Protesters Can Learn Much From Malala

Filed under: Life Lessons, Social Justice — 2 Comments
October 10, 2014

saint-louis-flag-burning-2Malala Yousafzai is a Pakistani school pupil, education activist, and 2014 Nobel Peace Prize winner. She hails from the town of Mingora in Pakistan’s northwestern Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province. Ms. Yousafzai is known for her human rights advocacy for education and for women in her native Swat Valley, where the local Taliban had at times banned girls from attending school; this has since grown into an international movement.

Compare Yousafzai’s activism against the Ferguson, Missouri protesters. According to news outlets, Mr. Vonderitt Myers Jr. was shot and killed by an off-duty St. Louis police officer Wednesday night. As such, Meyer’s death triggered another round of violent protests who blocked traffic, broke windows of at least one home and a business during another night of unrest.

Later, protesters gathered in a circle and burned two American flags. “It’s not our flag,” said Elizabeth Vega, an artist who said she had been protesting since Michael Brown’s death. “Our children are being killed in the street. This flag doesn’t cover black or brown people.“

With all due respect to Michael Brown, Vega has a repugnant point of view. Yousafzai’s activism is filled with hope. Vega’s activism is filled with hate.

Those of us who live in America must discuss how to become part of a generation that contributes to breaking down barriers. Issues to start focusing upon include quality education, good paying employment, human trafficking, and quality healthcare.

Ms. Yousafzai quoted:

“I speak not for myself but for those without voice … those who have fought for their rights … their right to live in peace, their right to be treated with dignity, their right to equality of opportunity, their right to be educated.

If you hit a Talib with your shoe, then there would be no difference between you and the Talib. You must not treat others with cruelty and that much harshly, you must fight others but through peace and through dialogue and through education.”

Ferguson protesters are no longer a force for good. Borrowing from George Bernard Shaw, Ferguson protesters have managed to become only a ‘feverish, selfish little clod of ailments constantly complaining that the world will not devote it self to making them happy.’ Sooner or later, you’re mentality has to become something more than a mere lynch mob.

We must rise above religious and cultural barriers and empower ourselves through education. Only then do we become a weapon, a true force of nature.

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Ferguson, Missouri Riots

Filed under: Life Lessons
August 11, 2014

Riot 2For a period of time, I lived in both Los Angeles, CA and Saint Louis, MO.

I lived through the 1992 Los Angeles Riots. Those riots were a series of uprisings, lootings, arsons and civil disturbance that occurred in Los Angeles County, California in 1992, following the acquittal of police officers on trial regarding a videotaped and widely-covered police brutality incident.

I’m reminded of LA while watching riots in Ferguson, Missouri.  A vigil on Sunday for Michael Brown, an unarmed black teenager shot and killed by a police officer, was followed by protesters taking to the streets, looting stores, vandalizing cars and confronting the police.

There’s an eerie similarity between the 1992 LA Riots and the riot in Saint Louis. Images, videos captured on cellphones and posted on social media, as well as local media reports showed people spray-painting and looting a number of stores. One Saint Louis television report captured video showing looters running away from stores with their arms full of shoes. Another demonstrated rioters carrying two cases of Budweiser Beer.

The looter pictured in this blog with baggy rapper style pants and no shirt did nothing to honor Mr. Brown or his legacy. In fact, all he did was become the ‘poster-child’ of repugnant.

Rioting does little to remember the victim. Having lived through LA’s Riots, the aftermath will bring a series ‘commissions’ designed to defuse tension; initiatives will be announced, programs launched. News personalities such as Al Sharpton will arrive and protest the insanity, cruelty and abuse. Melissa Harris-Perry may shed a few more tears and we’ll view these feints with suspicious eyes, for such performances marginally advance public interest.

I do not celebrate any of these events. I simply acknowledge they happen. Yet riots themselves tell us something important: that grievances long ignored have to be accounted for; that there is a new boldness found within those no longer content to suffer in silence.

It would tear apart any person who is humane to see what riot victims suffer. What makes all of this even more punitive is the endless wait for justice by the families of those who’ve died in the mindless violence perpetrated by one of their own. Both the Brown family and business victims will experience a seemingly endless wait for justice. It will be years before anyone gets a sense of legal closure.

Buddhism is about love, both personal and communal. Immediately after the 2011 riots, Vancouver residents began erasing the bad memories from the streets by cleaning them up. The citizens started to write words on the wooden boards that momentarily replaced shop windows. These messages included apologies, messages of love addressed to the Canucks hockey team, to the city of Vancouver, or simply to other people.

Why? Because this is how you act when you feel like you’re part of a community. This is the true soul of community. This is the beauty of America.

May all of us find such a community.

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Showing Up

Filed under: About Love, Life Lessons
July 31, 2014

imageI spent much of the day yesterday recovering from the crushing rock that landed on me (i.e., my heart attack). And while hospital food will never have the appeal of that found on Iron Chef America, Iron Chefs will never have the appeal of most healthcare clinicians.

I’ve been pretty bless by an array of doctors, nurses, technicians, and volunteers who pound the pavement between hospital rooms. Most have an innate beauty to quell the suffering which lay inside even the most hardened patients. Like canyon water searching the crevices, their compassion percolates throughout exterior pores and seek even the slightest entryway unto the soul. Thus, the moats and castle walls lay ruin by the waves of love and wash us anew by replacing dearth with light.

Like most clinicians, there are momentary bouts of doubt, when one ponders if all they do benefits anyone. Surely, the daily battle of grace against doubt, of life and death, are artistically chiseled into age lines, frowns and sighs.

“Sigh,” exclaimed one nurse. “Another lost.“

“But another saved,” responded another.

“But do I make a difference,” she queried.

That’s the key, “Do I make a difference?” Common threads exist between nurse and physician, between clinician and patient. Unbeknown to them, they lead with compassion and resilience, oftentimes bridging the gap between agape love sought and found. In silent servitude, they give most another chance at life, while providing closure and transition to those nearing their time. It’s a remarkably beautiful and and eloquent dance.

Each of us makes a difference simply by showing up. If you reflect upon key events of life, they’re often more beautiful and special than first realized. Almost all people have positive qualities and hidden gems. The essential point of focus is, do we search for the dirt or search for the gold?

Former Microsoft employee Scott Berkun explained on his last day at Microsoft, he lectured and thanked a colleague, saying he’d never expressed his admiration before because he assumed it was apparent. According to Scott:

“…it takes a better man to acknowledge goodness in others than it does to merely be good oneself. Anyone can criticize or accept praise, but initiating a positive exchange is a hallmark of a difference maker.”

As John F. Kennedy said, “One person can make a difference, and every one should try.”

To my nurse, I thank you. You do make a difference … simply by showing up.

Give it a try – show up.

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Empty Your Cup

Filed under: Faith & Doubt, Life Lessons
July 16, 2014

overflowing-cupA friend received her PhD several years ago. During the subsequent search committee interviews for academic teaching and lay ministry, committee members queried her accomplishments. Without hesitation, she provided an exhaustive doctoral background:

“I came from another country and English is my third language. I have a near ‘genius’ IQ; went to the number one college in my own country; received a Masters from the top sixth academic university in the United States’ and received my PhD, summa cum laude while simultaneously receiving a ‘Fulbright Scholar.’ I have fourteen years of counseling experience; read over a thousand books in the last three years; wrote for leading academic journals; performed research and am a world-wide acclaimed speaker.”

Needless to say, she received a tenured academic position.

Upon meeting someone new, she reiterated parts of or all of the above. When feeling neglected or looking for affirmation, friends and family were reminded of her accomplishments.

Two weeks ago a local hospital required an interim Chaplin. After contacting the hospital CEO, the interim position was awarded to her care.

Coincidentally, an academic search committee member from several years prior required surgery. Glancing through the hospital admission log two days ago, she found a record indicating both his faith and room assignment, room 304. Upon visiting the third floor, the nurses barred entry to the patient’s room. The note stapled to the outside medical record jacket was informative:

“Patient does not want to see current hospital Chaplin unless he’s in a coma.”

We are so enamored of our own ideas and opinions that our conditioning traps us. If we empty ourselves out, let go, and cease to hold on to our views, a more pure truth will come. Many of us cherish our opinions, for we’ve been taught such value by our elders. All of us need a way of approaching each encounter freshly. Be open to the moment, toss aside the past. Cultivate an inclusive mind of love, one that is able to meet every moment and be filled by the moment versus filling the moment with our own home movie … to which so few wish to see.

Experiencing the peacefulness of true love requires an empty cup.

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Making a Case for Religious Bigotry

Filed under: Do No Harm, Faith & Doubt
July 5, 2014

imageJust one day after the Supreme Court’s decision in Burwell v. Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc., 14 faith leaders wrote President Obama requesting a religious exemption in his planned executive order barring hiring discrimination based on sexual orientation by federal contractors:

“… an extension of protection for one group not come at the expense of faith communities whose religious identities and beliefs motivate them to serve those in need.” And, “Without a robust religious exemption . . . this expansion of hiring rights will come at an unreasonable cost to the common good, national unity and religious freedom…“

In opposition, a June 2014 letter to Attorney General Eric Holder, signed by over 90 religious, civil rights, women’s, and LGBT rights groups maintained:

“Religious Freedom Restoration Act should not be interpreted or employed as a tool for broadly overriding statutory protections against religious discrimination or to create a broad free exercise right to receive government grants without complying with applicable regulations that protect taxpayers.”

The 14 faith leaders aren’t appealing to law, but rather to Obama’s own history of opposing same-sex marriage and stated goals when forming the Office of Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships. However, while many of the faith leaders who openly requested exemption publicly emphasize all people are created equal in both divine image and love, they imply reaching consensus may be impossible. So rather than even try, a case is made for religious bigotry.

Basically, these religious leaders are requesting the ‘right‘ to discriminate via religion. Apparently Jesus recognizes ‘equality‘ is difficult and that being homophobic and discriminatory, is at times, ok. In truth, these are not moral, loving people … they’re assholes. When discriminating, the impact is not limited to that specific person. Mothers, fathers, children, nieces, nephews, uncles, aunts, and grandparents feel bigotry’s burden.

Using religious dogma trivializes people, demeans loved ones, their life and families. Zen Buddhism doesn’t make a distinction between same-sex and opposite-sex relationships. Instead, the expectation is not to harm, exploit or manipulate others, which would directly violate the third precept. For instance, Zen Buddhists often refer to hedonism, ascetic masochism and prostitution as practices that violate the “Middle Way.”

If two people have taken no vows and both love each other, why should sexual orientation matter?

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Become Unfrozen

Filed under: Life Lessons
June 28, 2014

imageI recently had the opportunity to watch the movie ‘Frozen.’ Frozen is an an entertaining wonderland of music backdropped against stunning visual design. I caught myself enchanted watching the characters struggle with love, personal setbacks and subsequent victories. Overall, Frozen was eloquently laid out.

Frozen reminded me of another Disney product: Beauty and The Beast. In Beauty, Gaston sings:

The Beast will make off with your children
He’ll come after them in the night
No!
We’re not safe till his head is mounted on my wall!
I say we kill the Beast
Kill him!

Why? Why was it so necessary to ‘… kill the beast?‘ I simply don’t get it.

A striking theme throughout history is of humanity’s ability to overlook the stupid. I’m amazed how villagers in both Frozen and Beauty easily crumbled against the tsunami of hatred. How often has society looked upon group racism and innuendo by saying, “Yeah, I concur with that … let’s go beat’em up.” If you think I’m wrong, one needs to look no further than the Kurdish and Shiite in Iraq, any form of ethnic cleansing, the Ku Klux Klan or the myriad of not so hidden political agendas of elected officials. All of us are responsible for ‘ball-and-chaining’ sensibility and love, only to become enslaved by the onslaught of stupidity.

Often times, in a war of ideas people become casualties. For instance, some claim bombs kill people while others claim guns kill people. But looking head-on into the soul’s root, people kill people. And the trigger is thought … that small space in-between the brain’s cell structure where ideas of love, peace, anger and bias originate.

From a Buddhist perspective, there are many lessons Frozen and Beauty offer.

  • Stop spending time with the wrong people. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.
  • Stop running from your problems. Face them head on. Yeah, it won’t be easy, but there is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. We must face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
  • You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
  • The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
  • Stop worrying so much. Remember ‘Seven Years in Tibet?’ Dalai Lama’s quote rings true today as it did then. “We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved there is no use worrying about it. If it can’t be solved, worrying will do no good.“

Become unfrozen and unshackled of others people opinions.

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How Much Time Left

Filed under: Faith & Doubt, Life Lessons
June 2, 2014

With YouDear Ms. J:

Over the past several weeks, I’ve sat across from countless nursing home patients and families discussing their prognoses. Somehow, the standard pieces include “it’s a marathon, not a sprint, so get your daily rest” and “illness can drive a family apart or bring it together — be aware of each other’s needs and find extra support.”

Having been given such a “grim” diagnosis so many years ago I abhor the “days to a few weeks,” “weeks to months,” “months to years,” “a few years to a decade or more.” In my case, I was cited detailed statistics, including twenty-five years of good life. But today, any one of us can readily find counterpoints for and against just about anything, let alone the types of challenges you and I face.

I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis also thirty-years on Good Friday. And for many months, I knew I had something, so I wasn’t all that surprised. In fact, there was a certain relief. The next steps were clear: console the spouse, refinance the mortgage, write overdue letters to friends I thought I would never write, plan trips, make amends and other assorted details I meant to do in life, but nothing could be more obvious when your day’s work included the next paycheck or this … or that.

In theory, if I knew how many months or years I actually had left, I would bucket list the whole thing. Three months, I’d just spend time with an annoying family to remind me how MS was actually a blessing. A year? I’d have a plan. Ten years, I’d skip the drama and get back to life.

In truth, I can’t tell you a time. But I can tell you to find what matters most to you.

There are no easy answers. Biblically speaking, the Bible is full of different stories in which God relates to humanity in times of tragedy and pain.  Some suggest God uses calamity to punish the unfaithful; others that God uses tragedy to instruct us or improve us.  Still others suggest God remains far off, disconnected, choosing instead to leave us to whatever catastrophes befall us.

Bart Ehrman, professor of religion at the University of North Carolina, once said he turned from his evangelical upbringing and became agnostic because he found Christianity incapable of answering a simple question: How could there be a God when there is so much suffering in the world?  He found it difficult to believe in a loving God when there is so much in the world that is without love.

And there are many days when I can concur with Professor Ehrman. Still I reflect upon Nicholas Wolterstorff, a professor of philosophy at Yale and a Christian, who lost his son in a mountain-climbing accident.  Like C. S. Lewis, he wrote about his struggle, and his pain, and his questions in a memoir entitled, Lament for a Son. “There is a hole in the world now,” he wrote.  “In the place where he was, there’s not just nothing…  I cannot make sense of it by saying ‘God did it’, but neither can I do so by saying, ‘There was simply nothing God could do about it.’”

So where is God? Well, I can only state that God is in every hug, every kiss, every comforting word. God is in every tear, every ache and every sorrow.

And just as Christ is with me unto the end, so I am with you. I will be there as best I can.

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