img_0012LinkedIn’s auto notification indicated a friend was having her two-year anniversary in consulting, specifically, as an independent consultant.

So there I sat, reading the notice, glued to the words, “Two-year Anniversary as a Consultant.” Seriously, I have to congratulate someone for two-years as an independent consultant?

Knowing my friend’s wicked sense of humor, here’s what I penned.

Dear Ms. T.:

Congratulations on your work anniversary! Or as LinkedIn refers to it … two-year anniversary as a consultant.

Actually, LinkedIn says I needed to congratulate you on two (2) wonderful years as a consultant. Yes! Yes! Two wonderful years of waking up and wondering where the next paycheck is coming. Two wonderful years of trying find a way of not ticking of some s*** client who cannot manage their way out of a garbage can. Yes! Yes! Two wonderful years of selling your soul to any bidder who will take your skill; for any employer who will honor and respect your work skills; for hope of one lone employer who will not demean your age 55 and 33 years of experience. Yes! Yes! Two wonderful years of traveling on your own time while simultaneously trying to figure a way to clock 40 hours. Yes! Yes! Two wonderful years of Marriott knowing you by sight; of saying “Hello” by name. Two wonderful years of trying to upsell; of trying to make two days of clothing look like a week; of meeting the client’s expense policies; of missing family, friends, weddings and funerals. Yes! Yes! Two wonderful years of eating crap food because no one pays for a real meal. Two wonderful years of leaving on a Sunday, coming back late Friday and trying to have a life one day each week. Two wonderful years of exhaustion.

So yes Ms. T … Per LinkedIn … I congratulate you. Cheers. Salud!

I am not sure if this is the type of salud LinkedIn wanted. However, for whatever reason, I thought this reply was most appropriate.