crazy-ladyReading Ms. Anne Kadet’s article, I Did It: 6 Days of Eating Dog Food made me roar with laughter. Kadet explains:

I’ve been on a paleo diet all year — living on meat, eggs and vegetables. I love it and feel great. But all that fresh meat and produce costs a fortune. Plus, there’s a lot of cooking, and I have better things to do with my time — like reading dog food labels. And yes, I couldn’t help notice that my dog’s high-end kibble — like my paleo diet — is high in protein, grain-free and gluten-free. It’s made with “simple, holistic ingredients.” It’s fortified with omega-3 and omega-6 and antioxidants. The best part? Canidae is an expensive dog food, but at 85 cents a meal, it’s a lot cheaper than eating paleo.

Hmm. Yum, Yum.

So the Cadet took readers through a six-day dairy of edible nuggets. While I never consumed food like Andrew Zimmern or Anthony Bourdain, I’ve had a few strange eats.

For instance, I never let the fact one requires a license to prepare Fugu (pufferfish) stop me from slipping down several morsals. I know Dolphins get high eating the stuff, I did not.

Twenty-years ago, I mistook a container of Science Diet (cat food) in the refrigerator for refried beans. I was advised of my error by the homes’ owner, Figaro. Coward by nature, Mr. Figaro became quite stalwart about his Science Diet. By what can I say, it was pretty good.

An old girlfriend loved eggplant, like an everyday love, nearly every meal love. I’ve never had eggplant cooked so many ways. So much so I’m convinced Ursula K. LeGuin was right when she retorted, “I doubt that the imagination can be suppressed. If you truly eradicated it in a child, he would grow up to be an eggplant.” To this day I’m convinced my ex-girlfriend was eradicated.

All I really know about the diet of cats and dogs comes from Christopher Hitchens:

Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.

Then again, I realize a cat is a sovereign state with a tail.

I’ve never eaten the same food for six straight days, just not my motif. But this doesn’t prevent humans justifying eating strange things morning, noon, and night for extended periods. At the end of the day, all I recommend is to eat healthy. The human body doesn’t require weird diets or crazy food.

One Zen student said, “My teacher is the best. He can go days without eating.”

The second said, “My teacher has so much self-control, he can go days without sleep.”

The third said, “My teacher is so wise that he eats when he’s hungry and sleeps when he’s tired.”