Unknown Buddhist

As a frequent traveler, I often wind up in some rather strange places.  And if there were ever a strange place for a Buddhist, it would be ‘Hooters.’ However, this very afternoon, I stumbled into the local Hooters at the Ocean Gateway, Ocean Beach, MD location. And there for lunch, I met ‘Nicole,’ a wonderful waitress and aspiring Public Relations/Marketing guru.

Through the years of travel, there has always been an uneasy dance between server and customer. Probably more so at Hooters since almost everyone pins an overt, but undisclosed, sexuality to the business.  In truth, there can simply be an enormous amount of discomfort involved between general discussions and relationships. And we, as customers, are afraid of being hurt, disappointed, overtaxed, ignored and incorrectly perceived hostile. The interesting part is that all these things can happen. Yet, while these incidents are often discussed, they are hardly representative.

Nicole was exceptional. Her personality and heart for me as a customer provided the type of dialogue only received with friends. She’s wasn’t simply a waitress or an employee, Nicole is an exceptional employee rarely seen in this industry.  She provided total dedication and commitment and treated everyone to the same high standard of service whether it was for me or other patrons. She had a wonderful sense of humor, enthusiasm and energy levels beyond most. She is truly is a credit to your restaurant and fully epitomizes what 5 star service is about.

As we all know people who work in the travel, hospitality and restaurant industries tend to work extremely long hours and often for not a great deal of pay so a letter of thanks from a wayward traveler like me may be so rewarding. Not only that, by acknowledging the importance of the her work, it will ensure that everyone on the Hooters team will continue to strive to even exceed the high standards of service.

Way to go Nicole. Way to go Hooters!

As some of you know, I do work in the healthcare arena.  As such, sometimes I run across something different. There is now a twelve-step recovery program for Buddhists. I guess there has been for some time, I just never heard about it.

Successful recovery in any 12-Step program deeply depends on our making a spiritual practice an intimate part of our daily lives. No matter if it is NA, OA, Al Anon, AA, or any other program molded from the principles developed by Bill Wilson.  There has to be some connection to spirituality (inner being, etc.)

For those who follow Buddhism, Buddhism can appeal to a broad range of individuals because it is an experiential spiritual practice that empowers us to improve our conscious contact with a Greater Power of our understanding through rational investigation, contemplation, and profound insight, rather than a religion that requires blind faith of its followers.

The nutshell of the steps are as follows:

1. We admit that we’re powerless over our craving and addiction and that our lives have become unmanageable.
2. We came to believe that a Power greater than our individual selves could restore us to wholeness.
3. We make a decision to take refuge in and entrust ourselves to the compassion and guidance of a Greater Power of our understanding.
4. We make a searching and fearless moral inventory of our thoughts, words, and deeds.
5. We admit to ourselves, our Greater Power, and another human being the precise moral nature of our thoughts, words, and deeds.
6. We become entirely ready to have our Greater Power transform our unwholesome characteristics into wholesome ones.
7. We humbly turn over our unwholesome and unskillful qualities to our Greater Power to be transformed into positive ones.
8. We make a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. We make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. We continue to remain mindful of our mental, verbal, and physical actions, and when we acted unskillfully, promptly admit it.
11. We engage in meditation and prayer in order to improve our conscious contact with our Greater Power (of our understanding) and to gain the insight and strength to realize and attain our Greater Power’s compassionate aspiration for us.
12. Having realized a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we carry this message to others in need of recovery, and try to practice these principles in all our affairs.

While I openly admit to not reading this, there is a ‘The 12-Step Buddhist’ paperback.

 May your path be healing.

As many of you know, I follow a blog by Actress Lynn Chen, “The Actor’s Diet.”

Outside of a couple of emails, she doesn’t know me from any other ‘hole-in-the-wall.’

But since I follow her blog regularly, I hope this makes everyone laugh. So in the essence of good humor and fun:

A picture of her meal:

And alas, a picture of my meal (as I sat in the hotel):

I guess I need to get out and ‘taste’ the day. 😉

Stay well Ms. Chen and prayers to your father.

In ‘Batman Begins,’ Batman made a very interesting quote to Rachel Dawes, “It’s not who I am underneath, but what I ‘do’ that defines me.” I choose this for the ‘…what I do that defines me” part of the quote, for it leads directly into the Precept 4” “Refrain from false speech.”  It isn’t that everyone could or should be Batman; merely the very act of refraining from false speech shows tremendous character. Very hard to do … but if performed, shows tremendous character.

Refraining from false speech is about lying. Not just about those big hairy lies, but even the ‘small’ or ‘white lies.’ Some have expanded this further to not giving biased or false information. And that’s where it gets difficult. If you are in a position where you lie by omission or tell white lies to protect someone, it is suggested that we consider ways to re-phrase the message without being deceptive.

Many believe there is an important distinction to be made between public and private life. Some believe lying is more justified in public versus private. As constituents, we tolerate a politician who lies because he adores and is rigorously faithful to society yet experiences some marital infidelity. We accept both because we believe in the possibility of comprehensive integrity.

Whether one agrees with his political stance or not, former Presidential Candidate Ross Perot once made an interesting quip, “any man who will lie to his wife will lie to me.” I know from personal experience, that once the relationship of trust is violated, there is no moral distinction to be drawn. And regardless of reason, it’s almost impossible to justify.

In business, I have found very few businesses where employees are equal. Conceptually, these businesses are based upon the premise that people, treated with honesty and concern, will respond with loyalty and hard work. Still, while that model does exist, I have seen business leaders sell-out or close the operation with little concern for their employees or customers.

I have consulted with many companies whose business model accentuated sales over ethics. I recently had a client privately say his business model was to receive millions in government incentives and then close. Factually verifying the information, I found it highly unethical, but strangely, not illegal.  I once saw a short-lived reality TV show where a car-dealer sold his father a high-end truck, not because his father needed the vehcile, but simply to meet a monthly quota.

If we are to be leaders, we must stand for something. We have to hear all sides of the issue, treat everyone as partners, and formulate honesty as the foundation of our life.

Yes, this precept is very hard to accomplish every single day.  And like most, I have failed. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t get up and try to get it right. All if us face extraordinary situations daily where ethics have, and will continue to be, sliced to an atomic subsurface.

“When regard for truth has been broken down or even slightly weakened, all things will remain doubtful.” (St. Augustine).

Remember Batman, it’s “what I ‘do’ that defines me.” Remain true!